Statue Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was once this guy and a girl in a car, parked neatly on Makeout Ridge, and they were, well, doing the obvious. So, here they were, naked as jay birds, when the guy suddenly says: "I need a cigarette." "But honey," his lover says. "The store closes in two minutes. You'll never have time to get to the store, and get dressed." "That's okay," He quips. "I'll just run down there naked, and if anyone sees me, I'll pretend I'm a statue." So the young man ran down to the store, got two packs of cigarettes (this store was obviously in a heavy nudist area or something), and starts to run back. The car is in sight, and he has a few more yards to go, when all of the sudden three nuns round the corner. He panics, and freezes like a statue, his beloved cigarettes in one hand. The first nun walks over to the young man. "Oh! What a beautiful cigarette dispenser!" She exclaimed. She sticks a quarter up his ass, pulls on his dong, and he more...

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.? Hurry!? she said.? Stand in the corner.? She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder.? Don?t move until I tell you to,? she whispered.? Just pretend you?re a statue.?? What?s this, honey?? the husband inquired as he entered the room.? Oh, it?s just a statue,? she replied nonchalantly.? The Smith?s bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us, too.? No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around two o? clock in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.? Here,? he said to the? statue,?? Eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths? for three days, and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water.?

A man and a woman made passionate love in the back seat of his car, in the process they managed to throw all of the clothes out the window and down a steep cliff. After the sex the woman asked for a pack of cigarettes, the guy said but Im naked and all of my clothes are at the bottom of the cliff. She convinced the man to get the cigarettes, and to act like a statue when some comes near him.
So the man got two packs of cigarettes when a car of three nuns pulled up. He freeze like a statue like the woman said. The first nun came up to the man and pulled on his penis until he dropped a pack of cigarettes then said oh! a cigarette dispenser. Then the second nun comes up to the man and pulled on his penis which made him drop the second pack of cigarettes the nun said oh! a cigarette dispenser. The last nun came up to the man and pulled on his penis, and pulled, and pulled then she said oh! a soap dispenser.

A woman and her lover are in bed together when hubbie comes home. The woman jumps up, shoves the guy in a corner of the bedroom, rubs him down in baby oil and covers him in talcum powder. 'Don't move! You're a statue!' The husband comes up to the bedroom and inquires about the new decoration. The wife explains that the Smith family next door acquired a statue for their bedroom recently, and if they could get one, so could she. The married couple go to bed, but at midnight the husband goes downstairs, gets a glass of milk and some cookies, and comes back upstairs. He hands the snack to the statue and says, "Here. I stood around for 3 days at the Smiths', and they never fed me a thing!"

There was once this couple who had been married for a long time, but could never get along very well. Many times, late at night there would be screams and shouts from their house. One day the old man said, "I'm sick and tired of you. When I die, I will come out of my grave to haunt you." After this, the old guy started practising black magic. All the dissapeareces of people, cats, dogs, etc. were blamed on him. At the age of 80 the old guy dies, and his wife puts him in a casket. Later that night, she goes to the bar and parties as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbour comes up to her and says, "Aren't you scared that the old guy will dig up and haunt you?" The old lady camly replied, "Eh, let him keep digging. I put the casket the other way around."
Cigarette Dispenser "There was once this guy and a girl in a car, parked neatly on Makeout Ridge, and they were, well, doing the obvious. So, here they were, naked as jay birds, when the guy more...

There was once this guy and a girl in a car, parked neatly on Makeout Ridge, and they were, well, doing the obvious. So, here they were, naked as jay birds, when the guy suddenly says: "I need a cigarette."
"But honey," his lover says. "The store closes in two minutes. You'll never have time to get to the store, and get dressed."
"That's okay," He quips. "I'll just run down there naked, and if anyone sees me, I'll pretend I'm a statue."
So the young man ran down to the store, got two packs of cigarettes (this store was obviously in a heavy nudist area or something), and starts to run back. The car is in sight, and he has a few more yards to go, when all of the sudden three nuns round the corner. He panics, and freezes like a statue, his beloved cigarettes in one hand.
The first nun walks over to the young man. "Oh! What a beautiful cigarette dispenser!" She exclaimed. She sticks a quarter up his ass, pulls on more...

There was once this guy and a girl in a car, parked neatly on Makeout Ridge, and they were, well, doing the obvious. So, here they were, naked as jay birds, when the guy suddenly says: "I need a cigarette.""But honey," his lover says. "The store closes in two minutes. You'll never have time to get to the store, and get dressed.""That's okay," He quips. "I'll just run down there naked, and if anyone sees me, I'll pretend I'm a statue."So the young man ran down to the store, got two packs of cigarettes (this store was obviously in a heavy nudist area or something), and starts to run back. The car is in sight, and he has a few more yards to go, when all of the sudden three nuns round the corner. He panics, and freezes like a statue, his beloved cigarettes in one hand.The first nun walks over to the young man. "Oh! What a beautiful cigarette dispenser!" She exclaimed. She sticks a quarter up his ass, pulls on his dong, and he more...