Stewardess Jokes / Recent Jokes

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says' Do Not Disturb'!"

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the
stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks, "And get me a whiskey you cow!"
The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whiskey for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this
omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls "and get me another whiskey you
dumb".
Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whiskey but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to
such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it
now you stupid."
The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by
two burly stewards.
Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, "For someone who can't fly you're a brave stupid
dumb cow!"

As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the airline encounters turbulence.

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks "And get me a whisky you cow!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.
When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another whisky you idiot". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.
Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick you".
The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says "For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks "And get me a whisky you cow!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another whisky you idiot". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick you". The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says "For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks "And get me a whisky, you cow!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.
When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls, "And get me another whisky, you idiot". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.
Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick you".
The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says "For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"

Mr. Brown: Give me a round trip ticket.
Agent: Where to?
Mr. Brown: Back here of course.
Mr. Brown: I put one over on the airline today.
Mr.Green: How?
Mr. Brown: I bought a return ticket, and I'm not coming back.
Mr. Brown: Say stewardess, how high is this plane?
Stewardess: About 30,00 feet.
Mr. Brown: I see, how wide is it?
A: Wanna fly?
B: Sure.
A: OK, I will catch one for you.
If it weren't for airplane schedules, we'd never know if the planes were late.