Stitches Jokes

I had the wife in stitches last night.

That'll teach her to overcook my steak.

It's time to remove the bandage and stitches on my finger. Too bad. I liked looking like Dr Evil in a finger splint.

It hurts more now; I keep sleeping on the darned thing and waking up in the middle of the night in pain. But I finally discovered a natural and holistic way to stop the pain. I cut off the blood supply to my arm and slept like a baby.

* Emergency Rooms will tell you one of the most common injury suffered in falling out of bed for a guy is a broken dick. Although the penis does not have a "bone" it is full of erectile tissue that can be bent too far to the point of snapping. This type of injury requires surgery to correct. Often it can result in massive hemorrhaging.
* The man who accidentally sent a knee into his lovers face in the dark as he climbed up to *** ***k her. Broke her nose, blackened both her eyes and knocked out three teeth, one of which had to be dug out of his kneecap. It had dug down to the bone and stuck there.
* Getting nailed in the nuts is no joke either, a friend of mine got an unintended knee in the groin when he and his girl were changing positions and the impact ruptured a vein. His ball sack filled with blood. It swelled to a diameter of seven inches and turned black on the way to the hospital. The good folks at the Emergency Room had to lance it upon arrival and it more...