Stomach Jokes / Recent Jokes

Leave It To The Kids A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "Im having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She said, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked...
"Then why did you eat him?"

A three year old walked over to the pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.

He inquisitively ask the lady," why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "Im having a baby."

With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She said, "He sure is."

Then the little boy with a puzzled look asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "oh yes, its a real good baby."

With even a more surprised and shocked look he said, "Then why in the world did you eat him?"

Drinking around the Christmas tree at the Christmas party rush,
Faces are hung o'er the balcony, everybody is a lush.

Drinking around the Christmas tree, let the Christmas drunkards
through,
Later we'll do some vomiting, and our arms will hug the loo.

You will get an upset stomach feeling when you taste
Vodka through your nose, oh golly,
Deck the halls with boughs of holly.

Drinking around the Christmas tree, your hangover's on its way,
Everybody's wearing ice pack hats in the new old-fashioned way.

(drunken sax solo.)

You will get an upset stomach feeling when you taste
Vodka through your nose, oh golly,
Deck the halls with boughs of holly.

Drinking around the Christmas tree, your hangover's on its way,
Everybody's wearing ice pack hats in the new old-fashioned way.

A little boy walks in into his parents bed room in the middle of the night to see his mom sitting on top of his dad humping. He asked the mother the next morning he ask. mom what were you doing sitting on top of daddy last night? she answered. well you know how your father have a big stomach, sometimes i have to sit on it to help him flatting it. he said. you are just waisting your time because everytime you go to work, the woman accross the street come get on her knees and blow his stomach back up.

What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elkaseltzer.

50 ways to FREAK your roommate
1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave
"Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your
roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.
2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair
of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.
3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and
dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying,
"Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for your roommate
to come back. When he/she does, walk in and act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like,
THEY, were here again."
5. Every time you see your more...

One day a man has a terrible stomach complaint and goes along to see his doctor. The doctor tells him that he is very ill, but that he can cure his condition with a course of suppositories inserted deep into his rectum every 6 hours.

"Right" says the doctor, "bend over and I'll do the first one for you." The man bends down and the doctor deposited the suppository. He then gives the man his course and sends him home.

At home 6 hours later the man realises that he can't stick the supposiory far enough up, by himself, so he asks his wife to help him insert the slippery bullet. After explaining to her what to do, the man bends over. His wife puts one hand on her husband's shoulder to brace herself and thrusts really hard. To her horror the man lets out a blood curdling scream.

"My God" she cries. "What's the matter? Did I hurt you?"

"No" replies the man. "But I have just realised that when more...