Storm Jokes / Recent Jokes

Weather reports show Tropical Storm Fay is still hanging around Florida. My guess is that it's stuck behind a lady in the left lane, doing about 35.

10) Viet Nam was a jungle war; Desert Storm is a desert war. (as noted by V. P. Quayle)

9) The U. S. is not the world's most profligate waster of rice.

8) We are not killing Vietnamese women and children in Desert Storm.

7) The White House wasn't smart enough to come up with a catchy name for the Viet Nam war.

7') Viet Nam was a conflict--Desert Storm is an operation.

6) Some Americans actually believed that we were defending a democratic government in Viet Nam.

5) The time difference from the U. S. to the middle east is better suited to prime time live coverage of the festivities.

4) Nobody ever compared Ho Chi Minh to Adolf Hitler.

3) We hadn't been supplying weapons and intelligence to the North Vietnamese until weeks before the war began.

2) The networks didn't have slick computer graphics with dramatic theme music for the Viet Nam war. and the number one reason why Operation Desert more...

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it".Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing.She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with Wal-Mart; now you can follow me over to K-Mart."

The grizzled old sea captain was quizzing a young, tyro naval student.
"What steps would you take if a sudden storm came up on the starboard?"
"I'd throw out an anchor, sir."
"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"
"I'd throw out another anchor, sir."
"But what if a third storm sprang up forward?"
"I'd throw out another anchor, captain."
"Just a minute, son. Where in the world are you getting all these
anchors?"
"From the same place you're getting all your storms, sir."
(Now, that's a BRAVE sailor....)

Ever notice how a 4 year old's voice is louder than 200 adult voices?

Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 a. m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, Karey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night. The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that was O. K. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night?

They said OK.

After my next trip several weeks later, Karey and the children picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my plane's arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers.

As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting "Hi Dad! I've got some more...

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what herdad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait fora snow plow and follow it."Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. Shefollowed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver ofthe truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained thather dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow aplow.The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parkinglot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart."

What I've learned from Noah's Ark
Don't miss the boat. Remember that we are all in the same boat. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old someone may ask you to do something really big. Don't listen to critics, just get on with the job that needs to be done. Build your future on high ground. For safety's sake travel in pairs. Speed isn't everything. The snails were on board with the cheetahs. When you're stressed, float awhile. Remember the Ark was built by amateurs, the Titanic by professionals. If you can't fight or flee - float. Take care of your animals as if they were the last ones on earth. When the doo-doo gets really deep, don't sit there and complain - grab a shovel. Stay below deck during the storm. If you have to start over, have a friend by your side. Remember that the wood peckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm out side. No matter the storm, when you are with God there's always a rainbow waiting