Strange Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."
The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passers by would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer."
That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That`s Strange".

A lawyer named' Strange' was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it.
"Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer.
"Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put' Here lies an honest lawyer'."
"But that won't let people know who it is," protested the lawyer.
"It most certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "People will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"

Santa is talking to Banta about married life.
"You know," he says, "I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there`s always that doubt."
Banta says, "Yeah, I know what you mean."
A couple of weeks later Santa has to go out of town on a business tour. Before he goes, he gets together with Banta.
"While I`m away, could you do me a favor? Could you watch my house and see if there is anything fishy going on? I mean, I trust my wife but there`s always that doubt."
Banta agrees to help out, and Santa leaves.
Two weeks later he comes back and meets Banta, "So did anything happen?"
"I have some bad news for you," says Banta.
"The day after you left I saw a strange car pull up in front of your house. The horn honked and your wife ran out and got into the car and they drove away. Later, after dark, the car came back. I saw your wife and a strange man get more...

There's a strange thing about memory... Damned if I can remember what it is.

9. E-mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy."

8. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.

7. You find you`ve been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt. recreational. catnip.

6. Your mouse has teeth marks in it... and a strange aroma of tuna.

5. Hate-mail messages to Apple Computers, Inc. about thier release of "CyberDog."

4. Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it.

3. You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II.

2. On IRC you`re known as the IronMouser.

and the #1 Sign Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password...

1. Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.

When a blonde man arrived home from work early, he heard strange noises coming from the bedroom.
Rushing upstairs, he found his wife laying on the bed naked, panting and sweating. "What's wrong, honey?" he asked.
"I think I'm having a heart attack," she cried.
He ran downstairs, grabbed the phone and just as he was beginning to dial, his four year old son ran up to him and exclaimed, "Daddy! Uncle Ted is upstairs hiding in your closet and he has no clothes on!"
The man dropped the phoned, stormed back upstairs, ran right past his screaming wife and pulled the closet door open.
Just as his son had said, there was his brother cowering in the corner, totally naked.
"You lousy bastard!" screamed the husband. "My wife is having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"

A city gent comes out of a restaurant and sees a funeral procession. It was a strange one. There were two hearses, behind which a man walked with a black dog on a lead followed by about a dozen men in single file.
Curiosity got the better of our city gent who went up to the man with the dog and said: "I have never seen a funeral procession like this - what really happened?"
The man replied: "The front hearse contains my wife who was killed by this dog. My mother in law is in the second hearse. She went to save my wife but the dog killed her also."
The city gent offered his condolences and walked away but having remembered something, he ran back to the man, tapped him on the shoulder and asked: "Can I borrow your dog please?"
"Join the queue" said the man!