Stranger Jokes / Recent Jokes
For women - Helpful info.
For men - For the woman in your life.
PREPARING FOR YOUR MAMMOGRAM:
Many woman are afraid of their mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in the privacy of your own home.
Exercise No. 1:
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Place one bookend on each side of your breast. Press the bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet again next year and do it again. Repeat all steps on the other breast.
Exercise No. 2:
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends (or a stranger) slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that more...
A hillbilly came to town carrying a jug of moonshine in one hand and a shotgun in the other. He stopped a man on the street, saying to him: "Here friend, take a drink outa my jug."
The man protested, saying he never drank. The hillbilly leveled his shotgun at the stranger and commanded: "Drink!"
The stranger drank, shuddered, shook, shivered and coughed.
"Gad! that's awful stuff you've got there."
"Ain't it, though?" replied the hillbilly. "Now, you hold the gun on me while I take a swig."
A hillbilly came to town carrying a jug of moonshine in one hand and a shotgun in the other. He stopped a man on the street, saying to him: "Here friend, take a drink outa my jug."
The man protested, saying he never drank. The hillbilly leveled his shotgun at the stranger and commanded: "Drink!"
The stranger drank, shuddered, shook, shivered and coughed.
"Gad! that's awful stuff you've got there."
"Ain't it, though?" replied the hillbilly. "Now, you hold the gun on me while I take a swig."
A man and his wife are stranded on a desert island.
The wife begins to lose interest in her husband and wishes on a star that she could find another man.
The next day a man is washed on shore.
He is very handsome and he is consumed by lust for the wife.
The husband is pleased to have another man to help with work around the island.
The stranger and wife, falling in love with one another, wanted to have mad passionate sex on the beach, so he thinks of a plan.
Wanting to be safe from wildlife on the island, they decide to build a shelter high up in the trees.
The stranger worked on the roof while the husband and wife worked down on the beach.
Periodically the stranger would yell to them from the tree house,' 'Hey! No having sex! Get back to work!''
At this, the couple would yell back,' 'We're not having sex!''
This happened several times while he worked on the roof of the more...
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger standing in a pouring down rain is asking for a push. Not a chance says the husband - It’s three o’clock in the morning! He slams the door and returns to bed. Who was it? asks his wife. Just a drunken stranger asking for a push he answers. Did you help him? she asks. NO, I didn’t-it’s three in the morning and it’s pouring out! Well, you’ve got a short memory says his wife. Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down on holiday and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him. The man does as he is told and gets dressed and goes out into the pounding rain and calls out into the dark: Hello, are you still there? Yes, comes the answer. Do you still want a push? calls out the husband. Yes, please! comes the reply from the dark. Where are you? asks the husband. Over here, on the swing the drunk more...
Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!
posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the
cash register.
He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"
"Yep, that's him," he replied.
The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me.
Why in the world would you post that sign?"
"Because", the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there's no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam, and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And you can do this right in your own home!
Exercise 1: Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds (while you hold your breath). Repeat again, in case the first time wasn't effective enough.
Exercise 2: Visit your garage at 3am when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.
Exercise 3: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the more...