Streets Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two mountain bred GIs were wandering the streets of calcutta when an old woman walked by. "Hey, Billy Joe," one said, "I think that's Mother Teresa." "Your nuts." "I'm telling you."They approached the woman and one asked, "Are you Mother Teresa?" The old lady eyed them scornfully. "Fuck off, you goddamn perverts," she hissed, striding off. "Jeez," Billy Joe said, watching her disappear into the crowd, "now we'll never know."

LYRICS:
Simply take one word or phrase from each of the three columns below, in order to make one line. Repeat randomly four times. Repeat process again twice to make chorus. Repeat last line 17 times. Don't worry if they don't make sense.
Column 1Column 2Column 3
Move itTriple BeatThe City Streets
Get UpBody HeatYou'll be Humpin
Pump It UpFeel the BeatBefore the Night is Over
Get DownGet AroundShake your Meat
Shake itThe Joint Is JumpinBustin Loose
Pump the JamFeet are StompinDisco Heat
BACKBEAT:
Program a drum machine in neverending 4/4 time. Add occasional snare.
BODY:
Add monotonous bass in one key. Overlay with punchy sounding synth. Get previously unknown singer to talk the lyrics so as not to test the range of the vocal chords.
PRODUCTION:
Put above ingredients together on master tape. Press discs. Give the label a suitably techno-funk sounding name, like "Mixmastermeatbeaters". Sell 5 million copies to more...

A kid goes to school and says to his teacher, "I just learned this new word called 'Purple spaghetti'." The teacher sends him to the principal and tells him the same thing so he sends him home!
When he gets home his mom asks him, "Why are you home so early?" So he tells her about what happened and his new word. Then his mom sends him to his room and tells him to wait until his father gets home. When his father gets home he sits down with the boy and the boy tells him about what happened, and about his new word. the father tells him to go the streets. So now the boy is living on the streets and he comes across a homeless person and tells him his story and when the boy says 'Purple spaghetti' the homeless person screams and runs across the steet and gets hit by a car.
Q: Whats the moral to the story?
A: Look both ways before crossing the street.

Two dumb blondes were driving through the middle of Kansas where there was nothing around for miles but wheatfields. One blonde says, "Look over there!" There was another blonde wearing scuba gear and acting like she was swimming through the wheat. The other blonde says, "Look over there!" where there was still another blonde in a boat. The blonde driving said, "It's people like that that give us blondes a bad name." The other blonde said, "Yeah! And if I knew how to swim I'd go out there and beat the crap out of them!" Blonde
Dutch girls on bikes "Two Dutch girls are riding their old rickety bikes down the back streets of Amsterdam one late afternoon. As it turns closer towards dusk, the increasing darkness of the streets starts making the two girls a little nervous when one girl leans over to the other and says, "You know, I've never come this way before."
The other girl says, "It's the cobblestones."

Two mountain bred GIs were wandering the streets of calcutta when an old woman walked by. "Hey, Billy Joe," one said, "I think that's Mother Teresa." "Your nuts." "I'm telling you." They approached the woman and one asked, "Are you Mother Teresa?" The old lady eyed them scornfully. "Fuck off, you goddamn perverts," she hissed, striding off. "Jeez," Billy Joe said, watching her disappear into the crowd, "now we'll never know."