Strictly Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Preparing for their religious wedding, a modern Orthodox Jewish couple met with their rabbi for counseling. Before leaving the meeting, the rabbi asked if they had any last minute questions.
    "Rabbi," the man asked, "we realize that it is tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women, at the reception, but we would like to ask for your permission to dance together."
    "Most definitely not!" replied the rabbi. "It is immodest. Men and women always dance separately."
    "Then I can't even dance with my wife after the ceremony?" asked the man.
    "NO!" answered the rabbi. "It is strictly forbidden."
    "Well, what about sex?" the man asked. "Is it permitted for us to finally have sex?"
    "Oh, certainly," the rabbi said. "Sex is a mitzvah within marriage, to have children."
    "What about different positions?" the man more...

    Due to budget constraints, the following corporate policies are announced
    regarding employees traveling on official business. These policies are effective
    immediately.
    TRANSPORTATION
    Hitch-hiking in lieu of commercial transportation is strictly encouraged.
    Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their
    departure on company business trips. Should hitch-hiking prove fruitless, bus
    travel may be utilized if absolutely necessary. Airline tickets will be
    authorized for purchase only under extreme circumstances, and the lowest fares
    will be used. If, for example, a meeting is scheduled in Seattle but a lower
    fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, then travel to Detroit will be
    substituted for travel to Seattle.
    Car rental fees are going up all the time, and are to be avoided. As a
    substitute for these charges, we recommend car-sharing. Simply turn your issued
    luminescent safety vest inside more...

    Hood River: Juggling is strictly prohibited without a license.(Oregon Dumb Laws)

    Due to budget constraints, the following corporate policies are announced regarding employees traveling on official business. The policies are effective immediately. Transportation: Hitchhiking in lieu of commercial transportation is strictly encouraged. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their departure on company business trips. Bus service will be another prime method of transportation. Airline tickets will only be authorized for purchase in extreme circumstances, and only the lower fares will be used. If, for example, a meeting is scheduled in Seattle, but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, then travel to Detroit will be substituted for travel to Seattle. Lodging: All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives or friends while on company business. If weather permits, public areas such as parks and parking lots should be used as temporary lodging. Bridges may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather. Meals: Meals expense more...

    Due to budget constraints, the following corporate policies are announced regarding employees traveling on official business. The policies are effective immediately.
    Transportation: Hitchhiking in lieu of commercial transportation is strictly encouraged. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their departure on company business trips. Bus service will be another prime method of transportation. Airline tickets will only be authorized for purchase in extreme circumstances, and only the lower fares will be used. If, for example, a meeting is scheduled in Seattle, but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, then travel to Detroit will be substituted for travel to Seattle.
    Lodging: All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives or friends while on company business. If weather permits, public areas such as parks and parking lots should be used as temporary lodging. Bridges may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.
    Meals: more...

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