Stuck Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie. The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one." The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home." POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family. Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too." POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family. The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?" The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."

During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddyback road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red faced colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" askedthe lieutenant as he pulled alongside."Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him thekeys, "*Yours* is."

During training exercises, the lieutenant who was
driving down a muddy back road encountered
another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced
colonel at the wheel.
"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing
him the keys, "Yours is."

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk and asked if there was a barber on the premises.' 'I'm afraid not, sir,'' the clerk told him,' 'but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes.''

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty cents, and stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his head in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he ever received in his life.

Down the hall was another machine with a sign that read,' 'Manicures - 25 cents.''' 'Why not?'' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.

The next machine had a huge sign that read,' 'This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away more...

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk and asked if there was a barber on the premises.
"I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes."
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty cents, and stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his head in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he ever received in his life.
Down the hall was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures - 25 cents." "Why not?" thought the salesman.
He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a huge sign that read, "This Machine Provides What more...

How did the fish's tail get stuck in the anchor chain? It was just a fluke!

Diary EntriesAUG. 12 Moved to our new home in Ohio. It is so beautiful here. Thehills are so majestic. I can hardly wait to see them with snow coveringthem. I love it here. OCT. 14 Ohio is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turnedall the colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through thebeautiful hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful, certainly theyare the most wonderful animal on Earth. This must be paradise. I love ithere. NOV. 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting tokill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon, I love it here. DEC. 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed inwhite. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow offthe steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won), andwhen the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What abeautiful place. I love Ohio. DEC. 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trickagain to more...