Stud Jokes / Recent Jokes

An infamous stud with a long list of conquests walked into his neighborhood bar and ordered a drink. The bartender thought he looked worried and asked him if anything was wrong.
"I'm scared out of my mind," the stud replied. "Some pissed-off husband wrote to me and said he'd kill me if I didn't stop fucking his wife."
"So stop," the barkeep said.
"I can't," the womanizer replied, taking a long swill. "The bastard didn't sign his name!"

When Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip visited Sri Lanka in the early fifties they were taken to Bopaththalawa farm on tour. There she asked the keeper of a stud bull how many cows it serviced a day. The keeper replied twenty. Then she asked the keeper to tell that to the Prince. The Prince on hearing this told the keeper to tell the Queen that it is not the same bloody cow!

An infamous stud with a long list of conquests walked into his neighborhood bar and ordered a drink. The bartender thought he looked worried and asked him if anything was wrong. "I'm scared out of my mind," the stud replied. "Some pissed-off husband wrote to me and said he'd kill me if I didn't stop doing his wife."
"So stop!" the bartender said. "I can't," the womanizer replied, taking a long swill. "The jerk didn't sign his name!"

Two men died and went to Heaven. St. Peter greeted them, and said "I'm sorry, gentlemen, but your mansions aren't ready yet. Until they are, I can send you back to Earth as whatever you want to be."
"Great!" said the first guy, "I want to be an eagle soaring above beautiful scenery!"
"No problem," replied St. Peter, and POOF! The guy was gone. "And what do you want to be," St. Peter asked the other guy.
"I'd like to be one cool stud!" was the reply. "Easy," replied St. Peter, and the other guy was gone.
After a few months, their mansions were finished, and St. Peter sent an angel to fetch them back. "You'll find them easily," he says... "One of them is soaring above the Grand Canyon, and the other one is on a snow tire somewhere in Detroit!"

Two men died and went to Heaven. St. Peter greeted them, and said "I'm sorry, gentlemen, but your mansions aren't ready yet. Until they are, I can send you back to Earth as whatever you want to be.""Great!" said the first guy, "I want to be an eagle soaring above beautiful scenery!""No problem," replied St. Peter, and POOF! The guy was gone. "And what do you want to be," St. Peter asked the other guy."I'd like to be one cool stud!" was the reply. "Easy," replied St. Peter, and the other guy was gone.After a few months, their mansions were finished, and St. Peter sent an angel to fetch them back. "You'll find them easily," he says... "One of them is soaring above the Grand Canyon, and the other one is on a snow tire somewhere in Detroit!"

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,' OK, old fart, time to retire.'

The old rooster replies,' come on, you can't handle ALL these chickens. Look what it's done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'

The young rooster says,' Beat it! You're washed up and I'm taking over.' The old rooster says' I'll tell you what, young stud, I'll race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.'

The young rooster laughs,' You know you don't stand a chance old man, so just to be fair, I'll give you a head start.' The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.

He's already about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is more...

Submitted by Jim Porter

Are you a wealthy and successful suit-and-tie yuppie businessman who has always had a secret dream that you would one day become a redneck? Have you always wanted to be a Bubba, but didn? t know how? Well, now you can!

Just follow these instructions. Purchase the following: one pair of overalls, one pack of chewing tobacco and six cases of beer. That? s all you will need to start!

Caution: These instructions MUST be followed in your BUSINESS OFFICE.

1) You are a dignified, well-groomed yuppie executive; therefore, as you read this, it is assumed you are wearing a pair of well-polished $800 Brooks Brothers black dress shoes and silk socks, a $2, 000 pinstriped Armani business suit tailored for you, a $150 silk necktie with matching pocket square and suspenders, a starched white shirt, monogrammed cufflinks, silver tiepin and a Rolex as you read this. FIRST, untie and remove fancy shoes. Peel off socks. DO THIS NOW! Be more...