Stuffing Jokes / Recent Jokes

One year at Christmas my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister was, mom decided to play a trick.
She told my sister that she needed something from the store and sent her for it. While she was gone, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, unstuffed it, restuffed it with a Cornish game hen, put stuffing back over the top of it, and put it back in the oven.
When it came time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out this little bird.
With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you killed a pregnant bird!!!"
At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took my mother two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs.

Stuffing...
He laid her on the table
So white clean and bare.
His forehead wet with beads of sweat
He rubbed her here and there.
He touched her neck and then her breast
And then drooling felt her thigh.
The slit was wet and all was set,
He gave a joyus cry.
The hole was wide...he looked inside
All was dark and murky.
He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms...
And then he stuffed the turkey.

As we enjoy the holidays, remember to be nice to those first-time turkey cookers...

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast.

Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.

When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey.

She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing.

When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!"

At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the more...

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the
turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.
When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.
With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed,
"Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.
It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!
Yep... SHE'S BLONDE!

1. Uh, yeah... I invented Spaghetti-O's.
2. You're twice as sweet as a creme brulee -- and less drippy.
3. Y'know, this hat and apron would look a lot less silly at the foot of your bed.
4. Hey good lookin', whatcha got reducing over a low flame until the sauce is a creamy, then pouring the reduction over the already sauteed veal, adding in a dash of kirsch and flambeing just before presentation?
5. Your eyes are like limpid pools of chicken stock.
6. Whisk, schmisk. I'll show you how a *real* man fluffs butter.
7. I know we've just met, but will you marinade me?
8. Wanna lick my beater?
9. How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
10. Hey, weren't you in my' Introduction to Melons' class?
11. I've made thousands of women cream... of tarragon soup!
12. Get the buttah.
13. One cheeseburger coming up. Would you like a little paradise with that?
14. Mmmm, you look good enough to filet -- but I think I'd more...

As we enjoy the holidays, remember to be nice to those first-time turkey cookers...
One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast.
Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.
When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey.
She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.
When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing.
When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.
With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!"
At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.
It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

When I found this recipe I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is cooked thoroughly but not dried out. Give this a try.
BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN
6-7 lb. chicken
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing
1 cup uncooked popcorn
salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven. Listen for popping sounds.
When the chicken's ass blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room, it is done.