Melted Jokes

Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what; metal, wood, plastic - anything she touched would melt! Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."
The king was overjoyed. The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth. Three young princes took up the challenge.
The first prince brought a very hard alloy of titanium. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly.
The second prince brought a huge diamond, thinking that diamond is the hardest substance in the world more...

I was at a vegetarian diner. The guy next to me was eating their famous Nine Bean Chili with grilled tofu chunks and melted soy cheese on top along with a tall glass of soy milk.

So basically he's eating beans mixed with chunks of beans with beans melted on top and washed down with a nice, cold glass of beans.

He may be healthy but he ain't gonna be popular.

Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.No matter what; metal, wood, plastic - anything she touched would melt! Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."The king was overjoyed. The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth. Three young princes took up the challenge.The first prince brought a very hard alloy of titanium. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly.The second prince brought a huge diamond, thinking that diamond is the hardest substance in the world and will not melt. But more...

Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter. But there was a problem. Everything the princeess touched would melt. No matter what; metal, wood, plastic,. .. anything she touched would melt. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The King despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? . He consuletes his wizards and magicians. One wizards told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that doesn't melt in her, she will be cured". The king was overjoyed. The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth. Three young princes took up the challenge. The first prince brought a very hard alloy of titanium. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly. The second prince brought a huge diamond, thingking that diamond is the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, more...

There were three men who died and went to hell; a white man, a Japanese man, and a black man. The devil said that if he could hold their dicks in his hands without them melting, he would let them go to heaven. If their dicks melted, they would have to stay in hell for enternity.

So the devil took the white man's dick into is hands. It melted.

Then the devil took the Japanese man's dick into his hands. It also melted.

Last, he took the black man's dick into his hand. It didn't melt.

Confused, the devil asked, "Why didn't your dick melt in my hand?"

The black man replied, "Because chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hands."