Subject Jokes / Recent Jokes

Whats the favorite subject of young witches at school? Spelling.

1. The female makes the rules.
2. The rules are subject to change by the female at any time without prior
notification.
3. No male can possibly know all the rules. Attempts to document the rules
are not permitted.
4. If the female suspects that the male may know some or all of the rules,
she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5. The female is never wrong.
6. If the female is wrong, it is because of an egregarious misunderstanding
which was the direct result of something the male did, said, did not do,
or did not say.
7. If rule 6 is invoked, the male must apologize immediately for having
been the cause of the misunderstanding without any clues from the female
as to what he did to have caused the misunderstanding. See rule 13.
8. The female may change her mind at any time for any reason or no reason
at all.
9. The male is never permitted to change his mind or under circumstances
without more...

Chaffee could talk on any subject whether he knew anything about it or not. Mostly he didnt. One day his neighbor Nibley could stand no more. "Do you realize," asked Nibley, "that you and I know all there is to be known?" "Do you really think so?" said Chaffee. "How do you figure that?" "Easy," answered Nibley. "You know everything except that youre a damn idiot. And I know that!"

For those of you who don't already know, these are the rules that are in effect in every relationship. 1. The female always makes the rules. 2. These rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification. 3. No male can possibly know all the rules. 4. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules. 5. The female is never wrong. 6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a vagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male said or did wrong. 7. If rule number 6 applies, the male must immediately apologize for causing the misunderstanding. 8. The female can change her mind at any given point in time. 9. The male must never change his mind without express written consent of the female. 10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time. 11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset. 12. The female must under no circumstances let more...

Stage 1 - SMART
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your more...

Stage 1 - SMART This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't more...

Stage 1 - SMART
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realise that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you will win all more...