Submarines Jokes

Submarines are safer than airplanes. Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air!
Response from a junior (very junior) sonar watchstander "Sonar - Conn, Report all contacts in preparation in coming to periscope depth" "Conn - Sonar, I hold no contacts - how 'bout you..?" "Sonar - Conn, Supervisor to the Conn"
QMOW: "Navigator we're on a course for sea mounts." NAV: "Exec we're heading for shallow water." EXEC: " Captain, we're running out of water." CAPT: "What, no water,...very well, secure the showers."

Submarines are safer than airplanes.
Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air!

Response from a junior (very junior) sonar watchstander
“Sonar - Conn, Report all contacts in preparation in coming to periscope depth”
“Conn - Sonar, I hold no contacts - how ’bout you..? ”
“Sonar - Conn, Supervisor to the Conn”

Qmow: “Navigator we’re on a course for sea mounts. ”
Nav: “Exec we’re heading for shallow water. ”
Exec: ” Captain, we’re running out of water. ”
Capt: “What, no water, …very well, secure the showers. ”

Submarines are safer than airplanes. Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air!

Response from a junior (very junior) sonar watchstander

"Sonar - Conn, Report all contacts in preparation in coming to periscope depth"

"Conn - Sonar, I hold no contacts - how' bout you..?"

"Sonar - Conn, Supervisor to the Conn"

QMOW: "Navigator we're on a course for sea mounts."

NAV: "Exec we're heading for shallow water."

EXEC: " Captain, we're running out of water."

CAPT: "What, no water,. .. very well, secure the showers."

The Russian and the American presidents are walking along the beach. They start
discussing their submarines.
The Russian president says, "We recently have made much progress with our
submarines. They can now stay as long under water as yours, for one month."
The American president replies, "Do you not think that we also made progress?
Our submarines can now stay under water for two months."
Shortly after this discussion they hear some strange sound coming from the sea.
Suddenly a old fashioned looking submarine appears. A hatch opens and a
uniformed man appears, "Heil Hitler, meine Herren. Can you tell me whether the
war is already over?"

Two nuclear-armed submarines from Britain and France collided in the Atlantic Ocean recently. Authorities said the accident happened because when the Britain sub said "Marco" the French sub failed to say "Polo".