Suicide Jokes / Recent Jokes
Sardar Banta Singh went to the emergency room with
the tip of his index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta Singh
replied.
The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your
finger?"
"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my
face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth
and I thought I just paid Rs. 1, 000 to get my teeth
straightened.
So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this
is going
to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my
other ear
before I pulled the trigger.
Statistics show that marriage is 83 percent effective in preventing suicide. On the other hand, statistics also show that suicide is 100 percent effective in preventing marriage.
a blonde and a brunette commiting suicide which one hit the floor first?
the brunette because the blonde had to ask for directions
Q: What is the penalty for suicide in Sweden? A: Life in prison.
Written by a very wise man... I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and "flipped" the woman off.
"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:
I drive 48 miles each way every day to work, that's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway. There's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper to bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day. Statistically, half of these are driven by a more...
Islamic suicide bombers have begun switching from the use of car bombs to the use of bicycle bombs. They find it gets them in shape to handle more virgins...