Sultan Jokes

Erap, Joe De V and Fred Lim are soliciting campaign funds from the Sultan of Brunei. The Sultan has a very intelligent horse, who understands English but is lame. Sultan says he will donate a million dollars to the candidate who can make the horse laugh, cry and run. Joe says, "Me first." (as he is wont to do). He puts his face in front of the horse, and starts wiggling his huge ears. The horse enjoys the breeze, but does not laugh. Joe takes out money and waives it in front of the horse while making sad, crying sounds. The horse ignores the money, and refuses to cry. Joe then slaps the horse's behind, and starts shouting "Heyaah". The horse ignores him and refuses to run. (The fact that the horse speaks English was totally lost on Joe, who is not very bright). Lim comes up next. He looks at the horse and says, "Kapag' di ka tumawa, papatayin kita". Horse no laugh. He walks over to the other side and says, "Kapag' di ka umiyak, papa-salvage more...

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. January 12, 1993San Francisco police arrested Russell C. Sultan in July and charged him with attempting to extort $23, 000 from his mother and girlfriend by claiming to have been kidnapped for ransom. After tracing telephone calls, police, guns drawn, burst into a motel room to find Sultan casually eating fried chicken and watching a 49ers football game. Sultan said the kidnappers had merely left him alone for a while, and exclaimed to the officers, "What took you so long?"

MUNNA BHAI visits Mysore palace. CIRCUIT: bhai us kursi par mat baithna. MUNNA: kaiku? CIRCUIT: wo tipu sultan ki he bhai. MUNNA: tension kaiku leta he re maamu? aayega to uth jaunga re, i shappath! !!

Two older, suburban, homosexual gentlemen had been living together for a couple of years, and were getting quite bored with their lives. They were looking at little knickknacks at a garage sale in the Castro, when one of them (Scott) stumbled upon what appeared to be a rare find.
"Look Jim, I just found the most fabulous... pot, or, I don't know what it is! It is It's pretty filthy, but I bet it would look great in our living room!"
Jim agreed, and they purchased the object. Apparently, the holder of the sale had no idea just how valuable a thing he had on his hands, because he sold it for $10.
Later that night, Scott decides he wants to dust off this old thing. To his surprise, what he thought was an old piece of pottery was in fact made of what appeared to be gold!
"Honey, come here!" he yelled.
Jim came running, and Scott continued to polish, until POOF!- A huge creature appears in their living room! Both men scream.
"Do not be more...

A Sultan, whose loves grew so vastly,
Just couldn't love any steadfastly.
Someone asked him in fun,
If he'd slept twice with one.
He replied, "Just the thought is most ghastly."