Summons Jokes

This joke was told to me by a friend:
Jesus, hanging on the cross, says, "Peter, come here." Peter, thinking he is
about to receive a profound religious truth, tries goes to Jesus but Roman
soldiers push him back.
Again Jesus summons, "Peter, come here." Peter tries to, but Roman soldiers
again push him away.
Jesus summons a third time, "Peter come here." Peter gathers all of his
strength and finally breaks through. Bleeding from several lance wounds,
Peter says, "Yes, Master?"
Jesus looks upon Peter and says, "I can see your house from here!"

Jesus, hanging on the cross, says, "Peter, come here." Peter, thinking he is about to receive a profound religious truth, moves towards Jesus but the Roman soldiers push him back.
Again Jesus summons, "Peter, come here." Peter tries again, but the Roman soldiers again push him away.
Jesus summons a third time, "Peter come here." Peter gathers all of his strength and finally breaks through. Bleeding from several lance wounds, Peter says, "Yes, Master?"
Jesus looks upon Peter and says, "I can see your house from here!"

A New York man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.

When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the next day and he would have to return the next day.

"What for?" he snapped at the judge.

His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query roared, "Twenty dollars contempt of court. That's why!"

Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented. "That's all right. You don't have to pay now."

The young man replied, "I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words."