Sun Jokes / Recent Jokes
Teacher: What Is Your Dream, Smith?
Smith: I Want To Go To The Sun.
Teacher: If You Go There You'll Get Burned.
Smith: No Problem. I'll Go To The Sun At Night.
Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry," said the first one." Me, too" said the second. "Let's fly down and find some lunch." They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of worms. They ate and ate and ate and ate' til they could eat no more." I'm so full I don't think I can fly back up to the tree," said the first one. "Me either. Let's just lay here and bask in the warm sun," said the second." O. K." said the first. They plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner had they fallen asleep, a big fat tom cat snuck up and gobbled them up. As he sat washing his face after his meal, he thought...>>>>>>>>>>>> are you ready for this...>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>. .."I just love baskin' robins!"
OFFICE MEMO:
From: Managing Director
To: Vice President
"Tomorrow morning there will be a total eclipse of the sun at nine o'clock. This is something which we cannot see everyday. So let all employees line up outside, in their best clothes to watch it. To mark the occasion of this rare occurrence, I will personally explain the phenomenon to them. If it is raining we will not be able to see it very well and in that case the employees should assemble in the canteen."
From: Vice President
To: General Manager
"By order of the Managing Director, there will be a total eclipse of the sun at nine o' clock tomorrow morning. If it is raining we will not be able to see it in our best clothes, on the site. In this case the disappearance of the sun will be followed through in the canteen. This is something we cannot see happening everyday."
From: General manager
To: Industry Managers
"By order of the Managing Director, we shall more...
"Can you help me? asked Alice.
"No," said Negative.
"I`m looking for a white consultant." Alice pointed in the direction she had been walking. "Did he go this way?" she asked.
"No," said Negative.
She pointed the other way.
"Yes," said Positive.
Soon Alice came upon a large brown table. The Consultant was there, as was an apparently Mad Hacker, and several creatures that Alice did not recognize. In one corner sat a Dormouse fast asleep. Over the table was a large sign that read "UNIX Conference."
Everyone except the Dormouse was holding a paper cup, from which they were sampling what appeared to be custard. "Wrong flavor," they all declared as they passed the cup the cup to the creature on their right and graciously took the one being offered on their left. Alice watched them repeat this ritual three or four times before she approached and sat down.
Immediately, a large more...
My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
The sky is falling. The sun is rising.
The sky is falling... No, I'm tipping over backwards.
The sky already fell. Now what?
The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.
If you take a oriental and turn him around so he faces west, does he become disoriented?
I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.
How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?
Poland sent its top team of scientists to attend the international science convention, where all the countries of the world gathered to compare their scientific achievements and plans. The scientists listened to the United States describe how they were another step closer to a cure for cancer, and the Russians were preparing a space ship to go to Saturn, and Germany was inventing a car that runs on water. Soon, it was the Polish scientists' turn to speak." Well, we are preparing a space ship to fly to the sun." This, of course was met with much ridicule. They were asked how they planned to deal with the sun's extreme heat. "Simple, we're going at night!"