Superior Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting with her young charges and she asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up. A twelve-year-old said, "I want to be a prostitute."The Mother Superior fainted dead away on the spot. When they revived her, she raised her head from the ground and gasped, "What did you say?"The young girl shrugged. "I said I want to be a prostitute.""A prostitute!" the Mother Superior said, "Oh, praise sweet Jesus! And I thought you said you wanted to be a Protestant!"
Sister Mary Katherine lived in a nunnery, a block away from Jack's liquor store. One day, in walked Sister Mary K. and said, "Oh Jack, give me a pint o'the brandy."
Sister Mary Katherine," exclaimed Jack, " I could never do that! I have never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!"
"Oh Jack, she responded, it's only for the Mother Superior." Her voice dropped, "It helps her constipation, you know." So Jack sold her the brandy.
Later that night Jack closed the store and walked home. As he passed the nunnery, who should he see but Sister Mary Katherine? And she was snookered. She was singing and dancing, whirling around and flapping her arms like a bird, right there on the sidewalk. A crowd was gathering.
Jack pushed through and exclaimed, "Sister Mary Katherine! For shame! and you told me this was for the Mother Superior's constipation!"
Sister Mary Katherine didn't miss a beat as more...
The Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting with her
young charges and she asked them what they wanted to be when they
grew up.
A twelve-year-old said, "I want to be a prostitute."
The Mother Superior fainted dead away on the spot. When they revived
her, she raised her head from the ground and gasped, "What did you say?"
The young girl shrugged. "I said I want to be a prostitute."
"A prostitute!" the Mother Superior said, "Oh, praise sweet Jesus!
And I thought you said you wanted to be a Protestant."
The Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting withher young charges and she asked them what they wanted to bewhen they grew up.A twelve-year-old said, "I want to be a prostitute."The Mother Superior fainted dead away on the spot. When theyrevived her, she raised her head from the ground and gasped,"What did you say?"The young girl shrugged. "I said I want to be a prostitute.""A prostitute!" the Mother Superior said, "Oh, praise sweetJesus! And I thought you said you wanted to be a Protestant."
One day a nun was fishing and caught a huge, strange looking fish.A man was walking by and said, "WOW! What a nice Gauddam Fish!"The sister said, "Sir, you shouldn't use God's name in vain." The man said, "But that's the SPECIES of the fish - a Gauddam Fish." The sister said, "Oh, ok."The Sister took the fish back home and said, "Mother Superior, look at the Gauddam Fish I caught."Shocked, the Mother Superior said, "Sister, you know better than that."The nun said, "That's the species of it - a Gauddam Fish."So the Mother Superior said, "Well, give me the Gauddam Fish and I'll clean it."While she was cleaning the fish, Monsignor walked in and MotherSuperior said, "Monsignor, look at the Gauddam Fish that the sistercaught."Nearly fainting, Monsignor said, "Mother Superior, you shouldn"t talk like that!" Mother Superior said, "But that's the species of it - a Gauddam Fish." more...
A priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman notices, and asks the priest if he would like to join him for a couple of hours.
The priest agrees. The fisherman asks if the priest has ever fished before, to which the priest says no. He baits the hook for him and says,' Give it a shot father'. After a few minutes, the priest hooks a big fish and struggles to get it in the boat. The fisherman says' Whoa, what a big sonofabitch!'
The Priest says,' Uh, please sir, can you mind your language?'
The Fisherman responds (THINKING QUICKLY),' I'm sorry father, but that's what this fish is called - a sonofabitch!'
'Oh, I'm sorry', replied the Priest.' I didn't know.' After the trip, the priest brings the fish to the church and spots the bishop.
'Eminence, look at this big sonofabitch!'
'Please Father', said the Bishop.' Mind your more...
The
nuns at the local convent had their daily announcement
session.
Mother superior walked out in front of the 100 nuns
with a very serious frown on her face. She began to
speak...
Mother Superior: "A sinful deed was committed
here, yesterday."
99 nuns: "Oh, no!"
1 nun: "Hee, Hee, Hee!"
Mother Superior: "Today I found a pair of men's
underwear."
99 nuns: "Oh, no!"
1 nun: "Hee, Hee, Hee!"
Mother Superior: "And I also found a condom."
99 nuns: "Oh, no!"
1 nun: "Hee, Hee, Hee!"
Mother Superior: "And it has been used."
99 nuns: "Oh, no!"
1 nun: "Hee, Hee, Hee!"
Mother Superior: "And there is a hole in it!"
1 nun: "Oh no!"
99 nuns: "Hee, Hee, Hee!!!"