Superior Jokes / Recent Jokes

A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. "There is a blind man to see you," she says. "Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I'm in the shower. Send him in." The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them. She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts: "That's nice and all, ma'am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want me to put these blinds?

The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen.
Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey they had received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
When she walked back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.
"Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "please give us some wisdom before you die."
She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, "Don't sell that cow."

One day a nun was fishing and caught a huge, strange looking fish. A man was walking by and said, "WOW!! What a nice Gauddam Fish!"The sister said, "Sir, you shouldn't use God's name in vain." The man said, "But that's the SPECIES of the fish --- a Gauddam Fish." The sister said, "Oh, ok." The Sister took the fish back home and said, "Mother Superior, look at the Gauddam Fish I caught." Shocked, the Mother Superior said, "Sister, you know better than that." The nun said, "That's the species of it --- a Gauddam Fish." So the Mother Superior said, "Well, give me the Gauddam Fish and I'll clean it." While she was cleaning the fish, Monsignor walked in and MotherSuperior said, "Monsignor, look at the Gauddam Fish that the sistercaught." Nearly fainting, Monsignor said, "Mother Superior, you shouldn"t talk like that!" Mother Superior said, "But that's the species of it --- a more...

A priest is walking along a pier in Rome when he sees a fisherman ready to go out fishing.
He starts a conversation and the fisherman asks if he would like to go fishing with him. The priest says he knows nothing about fishing. The fisherman says he'll explain everything the priest needs to know.
As soon as they get out into deep water, the priest reels in this huge fish. The fisherman looks at the fish and says" Father, that's one big son-of-a-bitch"
The priest looks at the man and says " My son, please refrain from using that kind of language."
The fisherman thinks quick and says" No father, that's what they call this type of fish, a son-of-a-bitch"
The priest, knowing nothing about fishing says" What an interesting name"
When they get back to land, the priest is excited about the fish he caught. He runs to the parish and sees the Bishop in the Chapel.
"Hey Bishop, look at the size of this son-of-a-bitch more...

Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replied, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it.
"Two dogs, please," said one.
The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their' dogs.'
The mother superior was first to open hers, then, stared at it for a moment, leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"

Nuns First Hot Dog Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward him. "Two dogs, please," says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their' dogs.' The mother superior is first to open hers. Staring at it for a moment, she leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"

The Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting withher young charges and she asked them what they wanted to bewhen they grew up. A twelve-year-old said, "I want to be a prostitute."The Mother Superior fainted dead away on the spot. When theyrevived her, she raised her head from the ground and gasped,"What did you say?"The young girl shrugged. "I said I want to be a prostitute.""A prostitute!" the Mother Superior said, "Oh, praise sweetJesus! And I thought you said you wanted to be a Protestant."