Superior Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two football players, Bubba and Tiny, were taking an important exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week.
The exam was "fill in the blank" and the last question read, "Old MacDonald had a_____." Bubba was stumped - he had no idea what to answer, but he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny in the shoulder. "Tiny, what's the answer to the last question?" Tiny laughed, then looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed. He turned to Bubba and said, "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows that Old MacDonald had a FARM." "Oh yeah," said Bubba, "I remember now." he picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. Then he stopped. Tapping Tiny on the shoulder, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?" "You are really dumb, more...

Two young and rather attractive nuns were being assigned to a church in a rather seedy neighborhood. The Mother Superior, who was rather concerned for their wellbeing, asked them what they would do is someone apprpoached them and tried to rape them.
"
Well,"
the first one said, "
I have a whistle that makes the loudest noise you've ever heard."
The Mother Superior shook her head.
"
Well,"
the second said, "
I have a can of mace for such an occasion."
Again, the Mother Superior shook her head.
"
Well,"
the first one asked, "
what would you do?"
"
I would tell him to go on and pull his pants down,"
"
What?"
"
You wouldn't?"
"
I would then go ahead and pull up my skirt."
By this time both of the young nuns were almost in tears. "
But why?"
"
Why would you do such a more...

One day, a priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman notices, and asks the priest if he would like to join him for a couple of hours. The priest agrees. The fisherman asks if the priest has ever fished before; the priest says no. He baits the hook for him and says, "Give it a shot, father."
After a few minutes, the priest hooks a big fish and struggles to get it in the boat. The fisherman says, "Whoa, what a big sonofabitch!" The priest says, "Ah, please sir, can you mind your language?" The fisherman responds (thinking quickly), "I'm sorry father, but that's what this fish is called-a sonofabitch!" "Oh, I'm sorry," says the priest. "I didn't know." After the trip, the priest brings the fish to the church and spots the bishop. "Eminence, look at this big sonofabitch!" "Please father," says the bishop. more...

A nun comes to her Mother Superior and asks her to hear a confession: "Today I enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh. Father Goodwim came to me and told me that I had the gates to Heaven here between my legs. Then he said that he had the key to Heaven, and he put it in the gates."
"BASTARD!" cried the Mother Superior. "For years he told me it was Gabriel's trumpet and I have been blowing it."

A nun comes to her Mother Superior and asks her to hear a confession: "Today I enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh. Father Goodwim came to me and told me that I had the gates to Heaven here between my legs. Then he saidthat he had the key to Heaven, and he put it in the gates.""BASTARD!" cried the Mother Superior. "For years he told me it was Gabriel's trumpet and I have been blowing it."

Nuns First Hot Dog Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward him. "Two dogs, please," says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.' The mother superior is first to open hers. Staring at it for a moment, she leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"

A nun entered the local liquor store and asked the clerk to give her a pint of brandy.
"I'm sorry, Sister," the clerk replied, "I couldn't do that. I've never sold alcohol to a nun."
"It's for the Mother Superior," the nun explained. "She's constipated and brandy seems to help."
So, the clerk agreed to sell her the brandy.
When he closed the store later that night, he found the nun sitting out on the curb, totally inebriated, singing and laughing to herself.
"Sister, shame on you!" he scolded. "You told me the brandy was for the Mother Superior's constipation."
"It is, young man, it is," replied the nun, slurring her words. "She is constipated and when she sees me, she's gonna shit herself."