Supervisor Jokes / Recent Jokes

Paul got a part time job at the Post Office. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail.
Paul separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur.
Extremely pleased by this, the supervisor approached Paul at the end of his first day. " I just want you to know," the supervisor said, " that I'm very pleased with the job you did today. You're one of the fastest workers we've ever had."
" Thank you, Sir" said Paul, beaming, "and tomorrow I'll try to do even better."
" Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. " How can you possibly do any better than you did today?"
Paul replied, "Tomorrow I'm going to read the addresses."

A gas company training supervisor and his young trainee had parked their truck at the end of the street while they proceeded to check the meters at each house. When they reached the last house, they noticed a woman watching them from her window as they checked her gas meter. When they had finished the meter check, the supervisor challenged his trainee to a race back to the truck.
As they were running up to the truck they noticed the woman from the last house was running right behind them, huffing and puffing. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
As she gasped for breath, she replied, "When I saw two gas men running as hard as you two were, I thought I'd better run too."

- "The more we sweat in training, the less we bleed on the streets."
- "Your life is not my fault."
- "The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
- "Take your hands off the car and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
- "Remember, when you gotta cuff' em, nobody is your friend."
- "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
- "That says POLICE, not taxi!"
- "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?"
- "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
- "You can't outrun a radio."
- "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
- "Someone, somewhere is practicing. If you're not, and someday, if you more...

This sounds like an urban myth, but I trust the teller.
A friend from Berkeley just started working for the University. His supervisor
had the following tale to tell:
The supervisor and his brother were going off to the 3rd game of the World
Series on Oct. 17. The brother was taking his new car, a pure white Mercedes
with gold trim. He'd bought it three days before.
They get to the game, park, and go to the stands. The earthquake hits.
Everyone cheers. Everyone goes out to their cars. However, our two heroes
can't find their car-it's been stolen. Somehow they get home, tell the
insurance company, and go on with their lives.
A couple weeks ago, the insurance company phoned back saying that they'd found
the car. In fact, they'd found the thief as well-he was in the car when
they found it... in the Cypress Structure, crushed to six inches high...
The brother was horrified, but Andy's supervisor was really happy.
"Yes, there is more...

Dictionary of Evaluation Comments Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out. AVERAGE: Not too bright. EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders to date. ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily. ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated. CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still one step ahead of the law. UNLIMITED POTENTIAL: Will stick with us until retirement. QUICK THINKING: Offers plausible excuses for errors. TAKES PRIDE IN WORK: Conceited. TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPERTUNITY TO PROGRESS: Buys drinks for superiors. INDIFFERENT TO INSTRUCTION: Knows more than superiors. STERN DISCIPLINARIAN: A real jerk. TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS: Knows when to keep mouth shut. APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC: Finds someone else to do the job. A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused. NOT A DESK PERSON: Did not go to college. EXPRESSES SELF WELL: Can string two sentences together. SPENDS more...

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"

One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have forgotten all their
shovels. The crew's foreman radios the office and tells his supervisor the situation.

The supervisor radios back and says, "Don't worry, we'll send some shovels... just lean on each other until they arrive."