Surds Jokes

A group of Surds were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole.
So they go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing is just a mess.
A passer-by comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the Surds and walks away.
After the person has gone, one Surd turns to another and laughs. "What a nut, we're looking for the height and he gives us the length."

Two surds observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger:
Surd 1: I can't seem to get this car door unlocked!
Surd2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!

Two Surds were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes
into the flight, the Captain announces, "One of the engines has failed
and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry, we have three
engines left."
Thirty minutes later, the Captain announces, "One more engine has
failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don't worry, we have
two engines left."
An hour later, the Captain announces, "One more engine has failed
and the flight will be three hours longer. But don't worry, we have one
engine left."
One Surdarji looked at the other and said, "If we lose one more
engine, we'll be up here all day!"

Santa Singh went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Santa Singh in the eye and said, "I've some bad news for you... you have cancer and it can't be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month."
Santa Singh, shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room. There he saw his son who had been waiting.
Santa Singh said, "Puttar, we Surds celebrate when things are good and celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer and I've been given a short time to live. Let's head for the pub and have a few pints."
After three or four pints, two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of Santa Singh's old friends who asked what the two were celebrating.
Santa Singh told them that the Surds celebrate more...