Survey Jokes / Recent Jokes

A University professor once conducted a survey on what happens to the Lipstick used by the ladies. These are the results.
5% of the Lipstick is sticked to the cutlery.
25% of the lipstick goes to Tissue Paper & Cotton Tabs at the time of removeing the Make Up.
15% of the Lipstick goes in Drain at the Time of Washing Face & Lips.
10% is Dumpped in the Garbage as Unused.
5% of the Lipstick is found in the Womens Stomach Due to Newer Flavours & Essences.
And the remaing 40% of the Lipstick I Gaurantee you that you will find it in Man's Stomach.

According to a new survey 60% of adults say they're aware of someone who's
gone to work under the influence of drugs. Apparently the other 40% have
never heard of the Dallas Cowboys.
- Conan O'Brien

In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would you sleep with President Clinton?" 86% replied, "Not again"

In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would you sleep with President
Clinton?" 86% replied, "Not again."

A worldwide survey has been carried out with the following question:"PLEASE, GIVE US YOUR OPINION ON THE LACK OF FOOD IN THE REST OF THEWORLD"No result was achieved, since the following problems were facedduring the survey's implementation: 1. In Western Europe no one knew what is "lack"2. In Africa no one knew what is "food"3. In Eastern Europe no one knew what is "opinion"4. In South America no one knew what is "please"5. In the USA no one knew what is "rest of the world"

According to a recent survey, approximately 35 per cent of all American men think sex is the best way to end an argument.
"Let me tell you something," says Jay Leno. "This could revolutionize the game of hockey."
- "The Tonight Show," NBC

We've just received the results of a survey conducted to ascertain the various reasons men get out of bed in the middle of the night. According to the report, 2% are motivated by a desire to visit the bathroom and 3% have an urge to raid the refrigerator. The other 95% get up to go home.