Survivors Jokes

The three survivors of the shipwreck were being driven mad by hunger.
The Irishman, an expert navigator, told the others that if they could row
the lifeboat for three more days they could make landfall.
The Pole, the ship's doctor, said that they could not possibly last that
long, that there was only one solution to the problem and that one of them
would have to sacrifice themselves for the good of the others.
The Englishman, the captain, said that he quite understood and that he
would volunteer as he should have gone down with the ship anyway.
After saying an emotional farewell to his crewmen,
the captain jumped overboard and sank without trace.

The three survivors of the shipwreck were being driven mad by hunger.The Irishman, an expert navigator, told the others that if they couldrow the lifeboat for three more days they could make landfall.The Pole, the ship's doctor, said that they could not possibly lastthat long, that there was only one solution to the problem and thatone of them would have to sacrifice themselves for the good of the others.The Englishman, the captain, said that he quite understood and that hewould volunteer as he should have gone down with the ship anyway.After saying an emotional farewell to his crewmen, the captain jumpedoverboard and sank without trace.

- How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?- None. People that glow in the dark dont need lights.

Q: If a plane crashed on the border of England and Scotland, where would they bury the survivors?
A: you don`t bury survivors Q: Twelve pears hanging high, twelve men passing by, each took a pear and left eleven hanging there. How can this be? How can eleven pears be left?
A: `Each` is a mans name! Q: If there`s a frog, dead in the centre of a lilypad which is right in the middle of the pond, which side would it jump to?
A: neither, the frog is dead! Q: You`re a bus driver. At the first stop 4 people get on. At the second stop 8 people on, at the third stop 2 people get off and, at the forth stop everyone got off. The question is what color are the bus drivers eyes?
A: The same as yours, you`re the bus driver. Q: What never gets any wetter, no matter how much it rains?
A: The sea! Q: A man went outside in the pouring rain with no protection, but not a hair on his head got wet... how come?
A: He was bald. Q: David`s father has three sons: Snap, Crackle and more...

All 148 passengers aboard the downed US Airways flight were safely transported to a holding area on 48th street. The survivors are incredibly lucky - you know how much a cab costs from Laguardia?