Suspects Jokes

Singing Tree Tattles On Burglar Suspects
BATON ROUGE, La. (Reuters) - A singing Christmas tree tattled on two teenage
burglary suspects in Louisiana, leaving the boys with backsides full of
buckshot rather than handfuls of loot, police said Tuesday.
Businessman Leon Wilson, Sr., 59, had been robbed twice last week, so he
started sleeping in his store Friday night and set up a makeshift burglar
alarm - a motion-activated toy Christmas tree his wife had perched near the
store's cash register. Wilson said the toy annoyed him everytime someone
walked by.
When motion is detected, the tree's eyes pop open, its mouth moves and it
calls out "Merry Christmas, Everybody!" before singing "Jingle Bells." Wilson
set up the toy near the door and stretched out on a couch in the back.
Early Monday morning, the singing Christmas tree went off and he spotted two
burglars near the cash register, armed with a crowbar they allegedly more...

...it didnt take much work for 2 county sheriffs' deputies to track down 4 burglary suspects. The suspects pulled into the Happy Chef's restaurant, where the deputies were on coffee break. The deputies became suspicious when the 4 men ordered the "All-You-Can-Eat-Bread & Water" Special.

No-one suspects the butterfly!

The U.S. Congress passed a bill yesterday giving President Bush the expanded war powers he requested.

Provisions of the bill include reclassifyng terror suspects as "the usual suspects," disallowing torture except when no one's looking, and replacing the Geneva Conventions with the Sadr City Conventions.

A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She points the gun at her boyfriend at stares him down for a moment. Then, suddenly, she's overcome with grief, so she puts the gun up to the side her head. Her boyfriend screams, "Honey, don't do it..." The blonde yells back, "Shut up! You're next!"