Swallow Jokes / Recent Jokes

Things You'll Never Hear A Woman Say
-What do you mean today's our anniversary?
-I'll swallow it all... I love the taste.
-Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being "just friends".
-The new girl in my office is a stripper...I invited her over for dinner on Friday.
-Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that way.
-I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
-I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!
-That was a great fart! Do another one!
-God..if I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!
-I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
-Can we not talk to each other tonight?
-I'd rather just watch TV.
-It's way tooo biggg, that'll never fit in my tight...
-Ohh, this diamond ring is way too big!!
-I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.
-And for our honeymoon we're going fishing in Alaska!
-Honey, more...

Forwarded from a guy at MIT who knows this guy at WPI. Story confirmed by a co-employee who graduated from MIT. Unfortunately we don't have an e-dress for Mikey to REALLY confirm this, but then, who would make THIS up?; -)

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And so I get back to school, start my senior year, two research projects, grad school applications, GRE preparation, and the like. The year started off good, but that all changed about two months ago. Some of you (especially those at Berkeley) may have heard rumors of some bizarre accident that I was involved in. So here is the truth, unabridged, for those of you who actually want to know...

Around the second week of school, the society of physics students held a roughly annual welcome back party, and, as tradition dictates, we made our own ice cream with liquid nitrogen (77 K) as a refrigerant and aerator.

Things were going fine for a while. We spilled a little of the nitrogen onto a table, and more...