Swan Jokes

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman went on a mountain-climbing expedition together. Everything was going fine until one day, while they were walking along a narrow ledge, an avalanche ripped away the ledge on each side of them.
As they stood there wondering what to do, with the freezing night closing in, there was a strange shimmering in the air and a good fairy appeared, floating in front of them. She raised her wand and declared that, as they had all been good and the expedition was sponsored for charity and so forth, she was to rescue them from their terrible plight. Each of them could wish to be transformed into any bird of their choice in order to get safely off the mountain, and would return to their normal form once they reached home. She turned first to the Englishman and asked what he wanted to be.
"A swan," he replied, and a beautiful white swan replaced him. Stepping off the ledge, it spread its wings and flew off for England.
The fairy turned more...

Brenda and Ruth were playing golf when a bird flew overhead.
Brenda said. "Look at that lovely swan."
Ruth replied, "It was a duck."
"It was a swan," said Brenda.
Just then a golf ball was hit in their direction.
"Duck!" shouted Ruth.
"Swan!" screamed Brenda.
"Ka-bonk!" went the golf ball.