Sweater Jokes / Recent Jokes

A girl working in the Department of Productivity, Ministry of Industry, started to knit a sweater for her husband. She gave it up only half done. Her husband asked her,' Why?'
She replied,' I have not been going to office for the last few days, so I could not finish your sweater.'

Three women at the doctors office. The first one goes in to see the doctor. When the doctor goes to examine her he notices a big Y on her chest.

The doctor asks, " Why do you have a big Y on your chest?"
She replys, " Well, my boyfriend went to Yale and when we make love he likes to wear his college sweater."
The doctor nods and continues on with the next patient. When he examines her he notices a big H on her chest.
Agian, the doctor asks, " How did you get a big H on your chest?"

The woman replys " My husband went to Harvard and when we make love he likes to wear his college sweater."
The doctors just nods his head and continues on with the last patient. As he examines her he notices once again that this woman also has a letter on her chest. A large M.
He says, " Dont tell me, your boyfriend went to Michigan?"
" NO" replys the patient " But my girlfriend went to more...

The attractive blonde was standing at a busy intersection waiting to cross the street when she was approached by a handsome young man. "I couldn't help but notice the V that's embroidered on your sweater," he said. "Does it stand for Vassar?"
"No, it stands for virgin," she cooed sweetly, "but it's a very old sweater."

Mrs Banta knitted a sweater & sent it to her husband by parcel post. With it she sent the following note:' I have removed the buttons as they are too heavy & would add to the price of postage. You will find them in the right hand pocket of the sweater.'

A Jewish mother sends her son a red sweater and a blue sweater for Channukkah. He is soon going to visit her but can't figure out which sweater to wear. Having become completely stressed, he finally chooses the blue sweater, puts in on, and heads for his mother's house. She opens the door and instead of making sure he arrived alright, simply asks him, "What, you didn't like the red sweater?"

This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca College. For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also from Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has never had the courage.
Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at home and musters up the courage to ask her out. She accepts, and they make dinner plans for Saturday night. Friday night, this guy goes out with all of his buddies, and drinks like Prohibition is coming back. Saturday, he is in such bad shape that he can't make it through twenty minutes without either puking or shitting.
After several hours of this, he is able to stop puking, but he is still running to the toilet every 20 minutes to shit. He doesn't want to cancel the date, because he's afraid he won't ever talk to her again. So they meet in Westchester, and take the train to New York City (about a 30 minute ride).
They get to the restaurant, and he excuses himself during the appetizers to use the more...

Testers report problems with Windows TP beta
NEW YORK, Apr 1, Reuter - Microsoft's new Windows TP has a long way to go before final release, say beta testers of the product. Testers report numerous problems with the thought icons included with the product.
"I can see a fish tail representing some useful things, but the Program Manager? It's just not intuitive," says Clyde Revlon, an MIS specialist with McBalmy, Crain, and Larch. "Whoever came up with these thought icons needs therapy. I'm sure the guy's Yorkshire terrier is wonderful, but as the File Manager? A golden retriever I could understand. And that sweater the terrier is wearing, it's just too loud. Let me control the sweater."
Testers also report dangerous corruption problems with the Direct Neuron Access technology. "Colors, I smell colors. Dog, good dog, go to the light mom," said Maggie Ferreaux, a consultant with Sharp, Trenchant, and Blunt Computer Services.
Other testers more...