Swim Jokes / Recent Jokes

As all the sperms were awaiting the big swim, little Freddy was being briefed by one of the elderly sperms. He said to Freddy, "Now you have to swim as fast as you can if you want to be the first one to the egg, and when you do get there, you have to say out loud, "Hello, I'm a sperm." And if you are the first one there the egg will reply, "Hello, I'm an egg." And then you can enter into the egg." So when it was time for all the sperm to start swimming Freddy swam as fast as he could without stopping. He was sure he was nearly there. He turned around to see how far back all the others were, and saw that they were very far behind. As he swam he suddenly found himself in a big moist chamber. He then saw a big round ball, so he swam right up to it and said, "Hello, I'm a sperm." He waited for it's reply. It then said, "Hello, I'm a tonsil."

An elderly man and his wife, vacationing at a cabin by the lake, were sitting on the porch and reminiscing about their younger years.
"This is the lake where I learned how to swim when I was a small boy," the husband said. "My father threw me into the water and I had to learn how to dog paddle to get back to the shore or drown. It was sink or swim."
"That was a cruel thing for your father to do," the wife said. "How could a loving father do such a thing to a small child? That must have been a very difficult way to learn how to swim."
"Not really," replied the husband. "Learning how to swim was the easy part. Getting out of that burlap bag first was the hard part!"

A priest is teaching a nun how to swim and the nun says to the priest "Will I really sink if you take your finger out?"

There were three Women stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainlandand estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it." I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go more...

Q: why don’t they let blondes swim in the ocean?
A: because they can’t get the smell out of the tuna.

A Man Married For The Second Time In His Life Comes Back Home After A Business Trip And Asks His Son- Father: So Son How Are
You Getting Along With Your New Mom. Son: Very Well Dad!!!! When You Were Not There My New Mom Took Me Boating Every Morning To
The Lake. And She Let Me Swim Back Myself. Father: Wasn't That A Long Way To Swim? Son: Yes, But The Difficult Part Was Getting
Out Of The Plastic Bag.

Why do men swim faster than women?
They have a built in rudder