Swimming Jokes / Recent Jokes

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when
they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship
that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of
our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and
sink."
They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon
however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were
swimming to the safety of shore.
The male was enraged that they were going to get away and said to the
female, "lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the
shore." At this point, the male whale realized the female was becoming
reluctant to follow him.
"What's the matter darling?"
"Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse
to swallow the more...

The weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn't bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water.
After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby. He held the bucket in front of his private area and sighed with relief.
The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move.
Then one of the ladies said, "You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds."
"Impossible', said the embarrassed man, 'You really know what I think?"
"Yes", the lady replied, "Right now, I bet you think that the bucket you're holding has a bottom."

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they
noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had
harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our
air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink."
They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon, however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were
swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to
get away and said to the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up
before they reach the shore."
At this point, he realized that the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.
"Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to
swallow the seamen."

The weather was very hot, so this man wanted desperately take a dive in the nearby lake. He didn't bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water.
After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket, which laid on the sandy beach. He held the bucket in front of his private parts and sighed with relief.
The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said, "You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds."
"Impossible," said the embarrassed man, "You really know what I think?"
"Yes," the lady replied, 'I know that you think that the bucket you're holding has a bottom in it."

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."
At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen!"

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it.

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen!"