Tailor Jokes / Recent Jokes
(Excerpted from an Ann Landers Column)
These are reportedly signs in English collected by Air France employees:
1. From a Tokyo Hotel:
It is forbidden to steal towels. If you are not a person so do such a thing, please do not read this notice.
2. In a Leipzig, Germany elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
3. Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values in at the front desk. If you lose them in your room, we are not responsible.
4. Athens hotel:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily.
5. Yugoslovian hotel:
The flattening of underware with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid..
6. Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the woman who are employeed to clean the rooms.
7. Moscow hotel:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and
writers are buried daily except more...
He was so pleased with his creation that he calls in three of his top advisors:
His chief Carpenter, His Chief Tailor, and His Chief Architect.
He presents his creation to his Chiefs and asks them for suggestions and
comments.
The Carpenter says:
"Too many forms, you need to straighten things out, flatten it out."
God replies, "No I like it that way, but thanks"
Then the Tailor says:
"Too many strings (hair) sticking out, you need to trim them."
God replies, "No I like it that way, but thanks"
Then the Architect says:
"Wonderful creation, absolutely superb, but next time, please do not place the toilets next to the reception room"
Sign in a Hong Kong supermarket: "For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service."
Sign at fast-food place: "PARKING FOR DRIVE-THRU CUSTOMERS ONLY!"
Sign outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: "Ladies may have a fit upstairs."
Sign in a Rhodes tailor shop: "Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."
Sign from the Soviet Weekly: "There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15, 000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years."
Sign in an East African newspaper: "A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers."
Sign in a Vienna hotel: "In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter."
Sign in an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: "Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists."
When an ape visits his tailor, what kind of a suit does he order? A zoo-t suit!
A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that in this suit he can do business.As he was preening himself in front of the mirror he reached down to put his hands in the pockets and to his surprise he noticed that there were no pockets. He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, "Didn't you tell me you were a banker?" The young man answered, "Yes, I did."To this the tailor said, "Who ever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets?"
FUNNY ENGLISH NOTICES AROUND THE WORLD!
Here are some signs and notices written in English that were
discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an
'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.
In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a
person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we
regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin
should enter more persons, each one should press a number of
wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by
national order.
In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between more...
An Ancient Greek man walks into a tailor and holds up a torn tunic. TAYLOR: "Euripides?" (You-rip-e-dees) MAN: "Eumenedes??" (You-men-e-dees)(Say it quickly, it works!)