Talcum Jokes

This isn't mine, I heard it on the radio this morning.
Man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. So he walks
down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to
use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts
talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another
and they end up in her apartment. After they've had their fun, he realizes
its 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill me. Have you
got any talcum powder?" She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds
to rub on his hands and then he goes home.
His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty pissed.
"Where the hell have you been?!?!"
"Well, honey, its like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they
were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this
great looking chick there and we had a few drinks more...

One morning a husband took a pair of underwear out of the drawer. "What the...?," he said to himself as a little blue dust cloud appeared when he shook them out.
"April!" he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"
She shot back, "It's not talcum powder. It's 'Miracle Grow'."

Man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. So he walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment. After they've had their fun, he realizes its 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?" She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home.
His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty pissed. "Where the hell have you been?!?!"
"Well, honey, its like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her."
"Oh yeah? Let me see more...

One evening, while thinking I was being funny, I said to my wife "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take an inch or 2
off of your butt!"!

My wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning I took a pair of underwear out of my drawer. "What is this?" I said to myself as a little dust cloud appeared when I shook them out.

"Connie", I hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"
She replied..... "It's not talcum powder, it's Miracle Grow!"

Man`s wife asks him to go to the store to buy some
cigarettes. So he walks down to the store only to
find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use
the vending machine.
At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts
talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one
thing leads to another and they end up in her
apartment.
After they`ve had their fun, he realizes its 3AM
and says, "Oh no, its so late,
my wife`s going to kill me.
Have you got any talcum powder?" She gives him some
talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands
and then he goes home.
His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she
is pretty pissed. "Where the hell have you been?!?!"
"Well, honey, its like this.
I went to the store like you asked, but they
were closed. So I went to the bar to use the
vending machine. I saw this great looking chick
there and we had a few drinks and more...