Tank Jokes / Recent Jokes
Into town I drove my tank
I was gonna rob a bank.
My money was running really low
As I got near I shouted "bank ho!"
Drove a hole right through the wall
Found I was in a shoppin' mall.
I 'poligized'n left through the hole.
I was definitely not on a roll.
I snuck a look at my GPS™
Blew up a truck labeled HESS™.
Then I proceeded towards the bank
Oh how dearly I love my tank.
Headed towards the Eastern wall
Ran a kid over, like a doll.
With a push and a heave, the wall broke.
The button "fire" I got ready to poke.
Oh so fun to rob a bank
'cept my hair was pretty lank.
Wouldn't believe how hot it was there,
Humidity is bad for your hair.
Shot down the security,
Their defense was very measly.
Then I headed towards the main vault,
Abruptly my tank came to a halt.
"Out of gas!" I exclaimed.
Hopped out but a guard I had maimed,
He took out a big gun and more...
A dentist I know recounts sharing this story with an elderly lady, just as he was putting on his rubber gloves:
"Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?"
She said, "No."
"Well," he spoofed, "down in Puerto Rico they have this big building set up with a large tank of latex, and the natives walk up to the tank, and dip their hands in -- and then walk around for a bit while the latex sets up -- then they peel off the gloves and throw them into the big' Finished Goods Crate' and go around again."
She didn't laugh a bit.
Five minutes later, during the procedure, he had to stop working on her teeth because she burst out laughing.
She explained, "I just suddenly thought about how they must make condoms!"
Requesting a three day passAn Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?""Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
How do you stop a Mexican tank? Shoot the guy pushing it.
How do you stop a taliban tank? Shoot the Guy Pushing it
A lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands.
But it also lit up her arm, too!
Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked. She took off running down the street.
A police car was at the intersection where it happened and he tried to stop her to put out her arm, but she just kept running and screaming. All the officer could think of doing was to shoot her. This took everyone by surprise. The officer ran over to her and put the fire out, then called for an ambulance.
When questioned about his course of action to stop her, the officer said, "My only thought was to stop her. After all, she was waving a fire-arm."