Tank Jokes / Recent Jokes
A lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands.But it also lit up her arm, too! Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked. She took off running down the street.A police car was at the intersection where it happened and he tried to stop her to put out her arm, but she just kept running and screaming. All the officer could think of doing was to shoot her. This took everyone by surprise. The officer ran over to her and put the fire out, then called for an ambulance.When questioned about his course of action to stop her, the officer said, "My only thought was to stop her. After all, she was waving a fire-arm."
A couple of nuns who were nursing sisters had gone out to the country to minister to an outpatient. On the way back they were a few miles from home when their car ran out of gas. They were standing beside their car on the shoulder when a truck approached.
Seeing ladies of the cloth in distress, the driver stopped to offer his help. The nuns explained they needed some gas. The driver of the truck said he would gladly drain some from his tank, but he didn't have a bucket or can.
One of the nuns dug out a clean bedpan and asked the driver if he could use that. He said yes, and proceeded to drain a couple quarts of gas into the pan. He waved good-bye to the nuns and left.
The nuns were carefully pouring the precious fluid into their gas tank when the highway patrol came by.
The trooper stopped and watched for a minute, then he said: "Sisters, I don't think it will work, but I surely do admire your faith!"
Q: How do you stop a French tank? A: Shoot the guy that`s pushing it.
The Israeli soldier had been in the army only a week, but already he was sick of the long hours and regimentation. He asked his superior officer for leave. The officer laughed and said he could have a weekend pass under one condition: He had to capture a Syrian tank.
Undaunted, the soldier left and an hour later returned with a spanking new Syrian tank.
Shocked, the commanding officer walked over as the soldier climbed from the hatch.
"I don't believe it!" he said, running his hand along the bazooka plate. "You must tell me how you did it."
"Simple," said the soldier. "I drove into the DMZ, saw a Syrian soldier, asked him if he wanted a weekend pass, and we swapped tanks."
I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid. I bought him a tank. It was about a hundred dollars, a lot of money in those days. It was the kind of tank you could actually get inside and ride. Instead, he played in the box it came in.
It taught me a valuable lesson. Next year he got a box, and I got a hundred dollars' worth of scotch.
Two nuns of Christian Mission in the city were cruising leisurely along one misty morning in their Mission's newly acquired Maruti Gypsy when they ran out of fuel. The driver of a passing lorry agreed to give enough petrol, to enable them to proceed to the nearest petrol station. The only container the nuns had with them was a bedpan, and they collected the petrol in it. While filling the tank, a car came by and stopped. Its driver, a good-looking, well-dressed young man got out and came over. Cheerfully, he said, "Young ladies, any trouble? Any help needed?" The nuns replied, "Thank you, Sir, we ran out of fuel, we are just filling our tank." The young man "Stood looking for a second, stunned. He threw his hands up and said, "Oh, glory be to the Lord... faith, nothing but faith."