Tasks Jokes

There were three princes and they were all after this one princess. So the kings says "the
one who will marry my daughter is the one that fulfils these three tasks". The three tasks were
1)to swim a mile
2) to jump over a puddle that was 10 feet long and
3) to fuck a cow.
So the first prince, he tries to swim a mile, but as soon as he gets into the water (because he can't swim for shit). The second
prince, well he swims a mile and jumps over the 10 feet long puddle, but can't fuck the cow
(because he has no clue of what fucking actually is). Now, the third prince, he swims a mile,
jumps over the puddle, and he fucks the cow (and he fucked the cow real good). So, the kings say
"o. k., now you can marry my daughter". The third prince says, "forget your daughter, i want the
cow"!!!

Government’s Law: There is an exception to all laws.
Grabel’s Law: 2 is not equal to 3, not even for large values of 2.
Gray’s Law of Programming: ‘n+1' trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same time as ‘n’ tasks.
Green’s Law of Debate: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Greener’s Law: Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.
Grelb’s Reminder: Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average drivers.
Gummidges’s Law: The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public.

a guy walks into a bar and sees a jug of money sitting on the tablE he says to the bartender "whats that money for" the bartender says "well its a contest you put in some loose change and then you get 3 tasks if you complete them all you win the money" the man says "ok sounds good" he put some money in the jug and asked the bartender for the 1st task the bartender replied "ok see that big biker dude over there... well you got to knok him out with one punch" so the man walks over and knocks him out with one punch! go back to the bartender and says "that was easy give me the last 2 tasks" the bartender replies "there is a dog in the back with a sore tooth you have to go pull it and there is an 80 year old women upstairs lookin for some sex she hasnt got any in a long time" the man says "no problem" he goes to the back with the dog and all the bartender hears is yelping and crying. the man comes oput and says " OK more...

Gray's Law of Programming: 'n+1' trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same time as 'n' tasks.

Traditional: Farm animal must be killed by ritual slaughterer using a sharply honed knife that must not have a single nick on its blade.
Reform: Farm animal must be told that it has the right to an attorney.
Traditional: Will not combine meat with milk.
Reform: Will not combine meat with chocolate milk.
Traditional: One set of dishes for meat, another set for dairy.
Reform: One set of dishes exclusively for cheeseburgers.
Traditional: Hire "shabbos goy" to perform religiously prohibited tasks.
Reform: Hire "Orthodox Jew" to perform religiously required tasks.
Traditional: Try to concentrate on prayers, achieve sense of being in the presence of the divine.
Reform: Try to figure out when to stand up, when to sit down, and what page everyone is on.
Traditional: Women required to sit in synagogue balcony, apart from men.
Reform: Women and men sit together, davening suggestively.
Traditional: Strong disapproval of women more...