Taylor Jokes / Recent Jokes

Taylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the court to defend an indigent defendant. The judge ordered Taylor, "You are to confer with the defendant in the hallway, and give him the best legal advice you can." After a time, Taylor re-entered the courtroom alone. When the judge asked where the defendant had gone, Taylor replied, "You asked me to give him good advice. I found out that he was guilty, so I told him to split."

Gator Bait!
Twas the 22nd of November, up in Gainesville
The whole Swamp was a roaring, no one could sit still;
The Seminoles came in all pompous and sassy
Planning to take a title back to Ol' Tallacrappy;
Their taunting banners were hung with great care,
Certain St. Bowden would answer their prayers;
Chanting and chopping, wearing yellows and reds
While visions of a national title danced in their heads;
With Steve in his visor, and Bobby in his cap
Gators and Noles hunkered down for a furious scrap;
When up from the Gators there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter!;
My eyes glued to the field, I shed a brief tear
and a Nole sitting near me threw up his beer;
For what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a BIG PLAY Gator offense...and seminole FEAR!;
With our coach in his visor and on the attack
I knew in a moment our offense was back!;
More rapid than eagles, QB's swapped more...

Isn't this the truth!...1970: Long Hair2000: Longing for hair1970: The perfect high.2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund.1970: Keg.2000: EKG.1970: Acid Rock.2000: Acid Reflux.1970: Moving to California because it's cool.2000: Moving to California because it's warm.1970: Growing pot.2000: Growing pot belly.1970: Douglas Street bridge.2000: Dental bridge.1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.2000: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children.1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.1970: Seeds and stems.2000: Roughage.1970: Popping pills, smoking joints.2000: Popping joints.1970: Our president's struggle with Fidel.2000: Our president's struggle with fidelity.1970: Paar.2000: AARP.1970: Being caught with Hustler magazine.2000: Being caught with Hustler magazine.1970: Killer weed.2000: Weed killer.1970: Hoping for a BMW.2000: Hoping for a BM.1970: The Grateful more...

Liz Taylor made an appearance on "Larry King Live" to assure her fans that she is not dying. Unfortunately, Liz Taylor fans are unable to share in the good news as they have all passed away.

Despite winning 5 awards, Taylor Swift was not present for the 2009 American Music Awards. When her publicist was reached for a comment, Kanye West interrupted and said Michael Jackson had the best absence from the AMA's

Isn't this the truth!...
1970: Long Hair
2000: Longing for hair
1970: The perfect high.
2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund.
1970: Keg.
2000: EKG.
1970: Acid Rock.
2000: Acid Reflux.
1970: Moving to California because it's cool.
2000: Moving to California because it's warm.
1970: Growing pot.
2000: Growing pot belly.
1970: Douglas Street bridge.
2000: Dental bridge.
1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
2000: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children.
1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
1970: Seeds and stems.
2000: Roughage.
1970: Popping pills, smoking joints.
2000: Popping joints.
1970: Our president's struggle with Fidel.
2000: Our president's struggle with fidelity.
1970: Paar.
2000: AARP.
1970: Being caught with Hustler magazine.
2000: more...