Teach Jokes / Recent Jokes

Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Little Willie had a gambling problem. He'd bet on anything.
One day, Willie's father consulted his teacher.
The teacher said. "Mr.Gaines, I think I know how to teach Willie
a real lesson. We'll trap him into a big wager that he'll lose."
Willie's father agreed to cooperate with the plan.
The next day at school, the teacher watched Willie making wagers
with the other children, and she said, "Willie, I want you
to remain after class." When the others had left the
classroom, Willie walked up to the teacher. Before she could
say a word, he said, "Dont say it, Miss B; I know what you're
going to say, but you're a liar!"
"Willie!" the startled teacher said, "What are you talking about?"
"You're a fake!" Willie continued."How can I believe anything
you tell me? You've got this blond hair on top, but I've seen
your bush and it's pitch black!"
Trying to keep her more...

A schoolteacher was trying to teach her six-year old class students how to say the pledge of allegiance to the flag. The schoolteacher said, O. K. children begin by putting your hand over your little heart and repeat with me, I pledge allegiance to the HOLD IT! HOLD IT! Johnny, why is your hand over your butt cheek instead of your heart? Johnny relied! I cant. Teacher asks, why not? Well you see, when my ant comes over to pick me up and pats my bottom and says, BLESS YOUR LITTLE HEART!!!!!!

Teach a man to build a fire, he stays warm for a night. Set a man on fire, he stays warm for the rest of his life.

You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat, than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.
You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.
You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who've never been outside of more...

The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy."
The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..."
"I know how to fuck, mother," the bride-to-be interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a great lasagna!"

John Kallam graduated with a BA in criminology and entered the U.S. Army. He served for 20 years beginning in the late 1930s. He was an investigator during the Nuremberg trials of Nazi war criminals, and stayed in Germany for many years organizing civilian police forces in the post-war era. He also wrote numerous books on criminal justice. He retired from military service in the late 1950s at the rank of full colonel.Returning to Fresno, California, he began teaching criminology at what was then Fresno State College. His work was well respected, but after about 10 years of service, he was called to see the president of the college.He was informed that he could no longer teach with just a bachelor's degree. Times were changing, he was told, and the school demanded that faculty members hold a graduate degree. Merely having 20 years of distinguished experience was no longer considered sufficient qualification to teach. All new faculty were being required to hold a doctorate, it was more...