Teacher Jokes / Recent Jokes

Teacher: Didn't You Promise To Behave? Dumbo: Yes, Sir. Teacher: And Didn't I Promise To Punish You If You Didn't? Dumbo: Yes, Sir. But Since I Broke My Promise, I Don't Expect You To Keep Yours.

Teacher to student: "I just read the composition on 'My House' that you had submitted."
Student:"Yes, is there anything wrong?"
Teacher:"No. It was excellent. It was exactly the same composition that your older brother submitted last year."
Student: "Well..we live in the same house..."

TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

Q: Why couldn't Mozart find his composition teacher?
A: He was Haydn.

There was a boy named Brandon that went to school one regular school day. He asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no because he was not allowed to go during class, so he had to hold it in. It was the end of the day, and he really had to make a poopie, but all the bus kids had to get inside the bus. Brandon REALLY had to go, so he had no other choice but to poop right where his bus seat was!!! At first, no one had noticed the stench, but a few minutes later THE WHOLE ENTIRE BUS SMELLED LIKE FRESH POOP!!! He was very embarrased, and all the other kids were making fun of him. When the bus stopped at his house, the bus driver had told his mother(who was waiting for him at the doorstep)all about the poop incident. The mother was embarrased, and Brandon never wanted to go to school again(although he did have to)!

One day the Little Rascals were in class and the teacher says they were
going to have a spelling bee. She calls on Spankey. "Spankey can you
spell Dictate?"
He goes "D-i-c-k-" She goes "No".
Then she goes on, "Alfalfa can you spell Dictate?"
Alfalfa says "D-i-c-t-a-e-" She goes "No".
Then she
calls on Buckwheat. "Buckwheat can you spell Dictate?"
Buckwheat says "D-i-c-t-a-t-e".
The teacher says "Very good, now can you put that in a sentence?"
Buckwheat replies "Darla how did my Dictate last night?"