Teacher Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day Adam was at school. It was time for religion class. Adam brought a small pin-prick he found in the hall. When it was time for class, Adam had to sit next to the sleepy kid. The teacher asked the first question. "Who is our savior?" Adam grabbed the prick and poked the sleepy kid with it. The sleepy kid screamed "JESUS CHRIST!". The teacher said "Very good!". The teacher asked the next question. "Who was the first person?". Adam grabbed the prick and shoved it into the sleepy kid. "ADAM!" the kid screamed. The teacher said "Very good!". The final question came and the question was "What did Eve say after they had their last child?" Adam grabbed the prick and put hole in the sleepy kid. The sleepy kid screamed "ADAM! IF YOU STICK YOUR PRICK INSIDE ME AGAIN, I AM GOING TO BREAK IT IN HALF!". The teacher collapsed.

Teacher: Paul, What Is The Chemical Formula Of Water?
Paul: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O
Teacher: What Is This?
Paul: Well!! You Said It Is H2o.

theres this first grade teacher that is teaching her students how to read. she bakes cookies for the class.
when the kids come in from recess they all sit in their seats.
the teacher asked, "does anyone want to tell me what you did at recess today?"
sally raises her hand and says, "I played in the sand box."
"Okay," said the teacher, "If you can spell sand on the board I will give you a cookie." she does it.
Ben raises his hand and says " I played in the sand box too!"
"Okay if you can spell box on the board I will give yu aa cookie." So he does it.
Mae-he Mahamid riases his hand and says (with an accent) "I wanted to play in da sand box, but ben and sally wouldnt let me."
"That is blunt racial descrimination," said the teacher, "if you can spell blunt racial descrimination on the board i will give you a cookie."

Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. Nurses are known to be hot to trot". The second man married a telephone operator. Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,"Wow, he's a lucky one. Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top button...Va-voom.". The third man married a school teacher. Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty but teachers are just too frigid". The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two would call much later in the day. At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The more...

Teacher: Tum Jhoot Bole Rahe Ho, Kal Rat 2 Baje Light Nahin Thi Tho Tum Kaise Study Kar Sakte Ho Raju Sir Study Me Itna Kho Gaya Tha Ki Pata Nahin Chala Ki Light Kab Gai.

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. Itwas a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenlythere was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?""Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters.""Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days."The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title theassignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an evenlouder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funnyBilly?""Well miss, I just saw both of your garters."Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe,"I don't want to see you for three weeks."Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. Soshe bends over to more...

Little Johnny was late for class. He walked into the classroom, quietly shut the door behind him, and tiptoed to his seat, all the while hoping his teacher wouldn't notice. But, nevertheless, the teacher was well aware of his entry.
Upset by his tardiness, the teacher asked, "Is this how your father would have come in? Would he have come in late and tried to sneak to his desk?"
The teacher pointed to the door and continued, "Now, leave this classroom and try it again. And, be sure to get it right next time!"
So, Little Johnny picked up his books and left the room. A few moments later, he flung open the door with a clatter and stomped back into the room with a lit cigarette dangling from his mouth.
He slammed the door behind him, put his cigarette out on the floor, and said, "So, Honey, didn't expect *me*, did you?"