"Marriage Advice" joke
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. Nurses are known to be hot to trot". The second man married a telephone operator. Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,"Wow, he's a lucky one. Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top button...Va-voom.". The third man married a school teacher. Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty but teachers are just too frigid". The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two would call much later in the day. At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse. The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night was her nagging voice saying, " You're not sanitary, you're not sanitary." At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again. The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed. Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as their voices." The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I heard last night was her a nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your three minutes are up." Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teachers husband would be calling any minute. Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast. Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couples room. The man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and legs. Joe fearing the worst, asked " What happened to you? Did you have a fight?" The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.
First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...