Teacup Jokes / Recent Jokes

John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink. "You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!" Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive. "How do you know this, Sister?" "My Mother Superior told me so." "But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?" "Don't be ridiculous--of course I have never taken alcohol myself" "Then let me buy you a drink - if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life" "How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!" "I'll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know." The Nun reluctantly agrees, so John goes inside to the bar. "Another more...

Arthur was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.
"You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!"
Now Arthur gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive.
"How do *you* know, Sister?"
"My Mother Superior told me so"
"But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?"
"Don't be ridiculous - of course I have never taken alcohol myself"
"Then let me buy you a drink - if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life"
"How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!"
"I'll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, them no-one will know"
The Nun reluctantly agrees, so Arthur more...

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director:' How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?'

'Well,' said the Director,' we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor.' A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'
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No.' said the Director,' A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?'

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to
time, and this should help get you started.
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the
director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a
patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the director, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer
a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him
or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would
use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the
teacup."
"No" said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug. ..
Do you want a room with or without a view?"

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?"

"Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."

"Noooooooo!" answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

(You are not required to tell anyone how you would have done on this test.)