Tee Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two really old guys decided they would go out and try to play a round of golf together. They get on the first tee and the first old guy says to the second, My eyesight isn’t what it used to be. Can you watch my ball for me?.
The second guy says, Sure! I see fine. Go ahead and hit. So the first old man steps up to the tee and really hits it. He turns to his buddy and says, Did you see it?.
Sure!, says his buddy.
Where did it go?, the first guy asks.
The second old man thinks for a minute and says, I can’t remember.
Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole for what seemed like forever. He’d waggle, look down, look up, but never start his backswing. Finally David, his playing partner, asked, Why on Earth are you taking so long to make this shot?
My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse, and I want to make this shot a good one, said Bob.
Good Lord, said David, you haven’t got a chance of hitting her from here.
Standing on the tee of a relatively long par three, a confident
golfer said to his caddy, "Looks like a four-wood and a putt to me."
The caddy argued with him a bit and suggested that he instead play it
safe and hit a four-iron then a wedge. The golfer was insulted and
proceeded to scream and yell at the caddy on the tee telling him that
he was a better golfer than that and how dare the caddy under
estimate his game.
So, giving in, the caddy handed the gentleman the four-wood he had
asked for. He proceeded to top the ball and watched as it rolled
about fifteen yards off the front of the tee.
Immediately the caddy handed him his putter and said, "And now for
one long putt..."
It was a sunny Saturday morning on the course and he was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualising his upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse speaker. "Would the gentleman on the woman's tee please go back up to the men's tee."
He was still deep into his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption.
Again the announcement, "Would the MAN on the WOMEN'S tee kindly go back up to the men's tee."
He simply ignored the voice and kept concentrating.
Once more the speaker blared, "Would the man on the woman's tee go back up to the men's tee, please!"
He finally stopped, turned, looked through the clubhouse window directly at the person with the mike and shouted back, "Would the person in the clubhouse kindly shut the hell up and let me play my second shot?"
A husband booked a round of golf for his wife and himself on a trip … … to famous old St. Andrews golf links.
On the third tee, the husband hesitated in teeing off and turned slowly to his wife and said contritely, “Darling, I have to confess something. Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me. ”
His wife was hurt but said, “Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you. ” They embraced and kissed.
On the seventeenth tee, the husband was starting his back swing when the wife blurted out, “I’m sorry darling, I’ve been so conscience-stricken since you told me, but since we’re being honest with each other, I have something to tell you also. Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change operation, I was a man before I met you. I hope you can forgive me.
The husband, froze at the top of his back swing, then threw a fit! He slammed the driver into the ground, kicked the ball more...
Two really old guys decided they would go out and try to play a round of golf together. They get on the first tee and the first old guy says to the second, "My eyesight isnt what it used to be. Can you watch my ball for me?". The second guy says, "Sure! I see fine. Go ahead and hit."So the first old man steps up to the tee and really hits it. He turns to his buddy and says, "Did you see it?"."Sure!", says his buddy."Where did it go?", the first guy asks. The second old man thinks for a minute and says, "I cant remember."
A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain."I'm an attorney," the wincing man said, "and this is going to cost you $5000.""I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," the concerned golfer replied. "But I did yell' fore'.""I'll take it," the attorney said.