Teenage Jokes / Recent Jokes

A prominent Columbia Maryland Yuppette had her teenage niece from New York visiting for the summer. She decided to sit down and have a talk with the girl explaining how things were done in Yuppie City.
"Darling," she advised, "you must be careful of certain men who offer you several drinks. Before you realize it, they'll push you down on a couch and... well... our family will be disgraced."
Less than a week later, the Aunt asked her how things were going.
"Great!" said the girl. "A young stud did indeed try to ply me with liquor, but I made him drink them. Then, when he was bombed out of his mind, I pushed him down on couch and screwed his brains out. So it looks like our family's doing pretty damn good, huh?"

There's an Englishman, Irishman, and Scotsman all talking about their teenage daughters.
The Englishman says: "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day & I found a packet of cigarettes. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she smokes!
The Scotsman says: "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other days when I found a half full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank!"
With that the Irishman says: "Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a willy!"

A teenage girl shopped at the mall and stopped at the perfume counter. She sees, “My Sin”, “Desire”, and “Ecstasy”. She says to the salesperson, “I don't want to get emotionally involved... I just want to smell nice. ”

A teenage blonde wants to go to a bar. Before she opens the door to the bar, she sees a sign, so she leaves. She comes back with twenty more blondes and they enter the bar.
The bartender tells her and her friends to leave.
The blonde says, in an annoying, scratchy voice, "But the sign said, under 21 not permitted!"

A teenage boy and girl headed to a good parking spot for
passionate summer sex. She could not wait for them to arrive at the destination. She took off her seat belt and started stroking her hand up and down his organ. It started to feel so good that he drove off the road and hit a palm tree.
The cops came and all the teenage boy could do was cry. A cop got really mad and said, "What are you crying about? Your girlfriend is splattered all over the tree and you don't have a scratch on you."
The guy says, "Go look in her hand!"