Tees Jokes / Recent Jokes

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him ina typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is." Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground." What are those?, asks the attendant. "They're called tees" replies Tiger." Well, what on the god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman." They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger." Fookin Jaysus", says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everything!"

Three men are golfing. There is Jesus, Moses and an old man. They've been pretty evenly matched until they arrive at the 11 hole to find a huge water trap. Moses tees up, and smacks that ball right out into the middle of the trap. Without a second thought he parts the water, hits the ball and gets it on the fairway, one stroke from the green. Then Jesus tees up. He smacks his ball right into the middle of the water trap. Without a second thought he walks out on the water, and hits that ball right onto the green. Finally the old man tees up. He hits the ball into the water trap. A fish swims up from the bottom of the trap with the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, picks up the fish and carries it over the hole, where the fish drops the ball and it plops into the hole. Jesus looks at the old man as Moses pencils another 1 in the old man's card. "Alright Dad, stop showing off"!

Three guys are golfing with the club pro. First guy tees off
and hits a dribbler about 60 yards. He turns to the pro and
says, "What did I do wrong?"
The pro says "Loft".
The next guy tees off and hits a duck hook into the woods. He
asks the pro, "What did I do wrong?"
The pro says "Loft".
The third guy tees off and slices into a pond. He asks the pro,
"What did I do wrong?"
The pro says "Loft".
As they're walking to their balls, the first guy finally
speaks up. He says to the pro, "The three of us hit completely
different tee shots, and when we asked you what we did wrong
you answered the same exact answer each time. What is loft?"
The pro says, "Lack Of Fucking Talent"