Teeth Jokes / Recent Jokes

After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked. So they went to a doctor, and got checked over. The doctor took time to reassure them. "Don't worry," he said, "Just takethis sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow." So he went home feeling better, and went back the next day with his littlebottle. It was empty. The doctor looked at the bottle carefully, " Problems?" he said. "Have I ever had problems, doc.!" the man replied. " I went home andstraight upstairs, and worked at it for over half an hour. Both hands. Itell you doc, my hands got too sore to hold it! I had to get the wifeupstairs and she had a go. But even she, with all her experience, couldn'tdo it. " "So what did you do?" said the doctor. " We had a discussion, and got the mother-in-law involved. I was sureshe'd manage it, but it was no go, even when she used her mouth. And doc, she tried with her teeth more...

Here are some hockey player pick-up lines... which, I'm sure, have never been tried on them because they hang with a better class of male species... Enjoy...
"What do you say we drop the gloves and go at it?"
"Look, my teeth spell out 'I love you' in block letters!"
"My other stick curves to the right"
"So this guy says he hates hockey players because they have no tact and are easily distracted, so I... Hey! Babe! Wanna do the nasty?"
"Bagy, yrrr so beurdiffle dat I feel I can be nacheral wif yoo."
"You heard right: I only take off this mask for two things."
"I said, 'Would you like a PUCK?'"
"You know, less teeth means more tongue!"
"I may be toothless, sweaty, and all black and blue, but I make a mean quiche Loraine."
"I only drool when I'm standing upright."
"Hi, I'm Zam. How would you like a Zamboni ride?"
"Well if I more...

Willie: "I have an awful toothache."Tommie: "Id have it taken out if it was mine."Willie: "Yes, if it was yours, I would, too."

For Christmas last year my wife gave me a week of private lessons at the local health club. Though still in great shape from when I was on the varsity Internet Web team in college, I decided it was a good idea to try it. I called and made reservations with someone named Tanya, who said she is a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and athletic clothing model. I thought y'all might enjoy my journal:
Day 1:
Started the morning at 5: 00 AM. Tough to get up, but worth it when I arrived at the health club, Tanya was waiting for me. She's something of a goddess, with blond hair and a dazzling white smile. She showed me the machines and took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. She seemed a little alarmed that it was so high, but I think just standing next to her in that outfit of hers added about 30-50 points. Enjoyed watching the aerobics class. Tanya was very encouraging as I did my sit ups, though my gut was already aching a little from holding it in the whole time I was more...

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other. The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. "Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage." His father replied, "Don't you love this girl?" "Oh yes, very much," he said, "but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my fiance will be put off by them." "No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed." Well, to him this seemed a workable solution. The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom. "Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful." "Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the morning." more...

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth." The man said, "No problem." With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said. The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another pair...try these." The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight." The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more paid of false teeth...try them." The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that he ate his meal and gave his address. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist." The man more...

1. It is the new hip thing to rot your teeth.
2. They are highly non-nutritous.
3. In case of weak teeth, just bite into the hard candy.
4. For absolutely no good reason.
5. Makes you sick so that you do not have to go to school.
6. To get hyperactive so that you are not sleepy when you get out of bed.
7. Because the candy is saying, "Eat me!!!"
8. Because your tummy is growling and you think it is annoying.
9. In case you got an urge to suck on something.
10. Because the noises that the candy makes when it bangs against your teeth makes a relaxing sound for the mind.