Teller Jokes / Recent Jokes
During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.
"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune
teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question:
"Will I be acquitted?"
PICK THE RIGHT BANK You don't want to make the same mistake as the fellow in Anaheim, CA, who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no money.
STUDY YOUR HISTORY Don't try to stick up the First National Bank of Northfield, Minnesota. Jesse James tried it 111 years ago, and the townsfolk took just seven minutes to kill two and capture three of his gang. Nobody tried again until 1984, and the customers chased the guy down. They're tight with their dollar, those Minnesotans.
SPEAK TO THE RIGHT TELLER One robber in Upland, CA, presented his note to the teller, and her father, who was in the next line, got all bent out of shape about it. He wrestled the guy to the ground and sat on him until authorities arrived.
DON'T SIGN YOUR DEMAND NOTE Demand notes have been written on the back of a subpoena issued in the name of a bank robber in Pittsburgh... on an envelope bearing the name and address of another in Detroit....and in East Hartford, Connecticut, more...
During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news."There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question. "Will I be acquitted?"
During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit afortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news."There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepareyourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent andhorrible death this year."Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman's lined face, then atthe single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took afew deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. Shemet the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked herquestion:"Will I be acquitted?"
A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 6 year old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.
She hung around and eventually the construction crew - gems in the rough all of them - more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a dollar.
The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the dollar pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank the teller was equally more...
Mrs P goes to a fortune teller and has her palm read. "There's a disaster coming into your life. Your husband is going to die soon."
"I know," says Mrs P, "but will I get the death penalty?"
A policeman is interviewing a bank teller after the bank had been robbed 3 times by the same bandit. "Did you notice anything special about the man?" asks the agent.
"Yes," replies the teller. "He was better dressed each time."