Ten Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once little Siripala was playing with sand in the garden, and his grandfather was watching him. Then suddenly he pulled out a worm from a tiny hole in the sand. The grandfather saw this and said, "I will give you ten rupees if you put the worm back to the hole". Siripala tried his best but the worm was not stiff enough to put into the hole. Then he brought a tin of varnish, and applied some on the worm, and left it for few minutes to dry. When the worm was dry, it became stiff, and then he easily put the worm into the hole. Siripala's grandfather said, "You did it boy! I'll give you your ten rupees tommorrow".
The next day the grandfather gave him twenty rupees. Siripala asked, "Why did you give me twenty?". Then the grandfather said, "Well; The extra ten rupees is from your grandmother, as an appreciation for your invention".

Bill Clinton, Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans.
Bill: “Why don’t I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy. ”
Hillary: “Well, why don’t you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the window and make ten people happy. ”
Al: “Why don’t you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper happy. ”
Tipper: “Why don’t we all jump out the window and make everybody throughout the United States and world happy. ”

A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pallbearers are carrying the casket out, when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for ten more years and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same synagogue and at the end of the ceremony the pallbearers are again carrying the casket.
As they are walking out, the husband cries, “Watch out for the wall! ”

The Ten Commandments Of Employment If it rings, put it on hold. If it clunks, call the repairman. If it whistles, ignore it. If it's a friend, stop work and chat. If it's the boss, look busy. If it talks, take notes. If it's handwritten, type it. if it's typed, copy it. If it's copied, file it. If it's Friday, forget it!

Tommy's house is packed with relatives for Christmas dinner. Grandpa calls 6 year old Tommy and starts asking about school, girlfriends and other stuff he can think of. After a while, grandpa notices that Tommy is losing interest in the conversation so he pulls out two bills from his wallet to see if he can keep him interested. A ten and a twenty-dollar bill. He shows both bills to Tommy and tells him that he can keep any one he chooses. Tommy reaches over and grabs the ten-dollar bill.



Grandpa pretty surprised and upset about the unwise decision his grandchild made, pulls out another ten dollar bill to see if it was a mistake. Again, he tells Tommy to take one of the bills and keep it. Tommy grabs the other ten. Grandpa again is surprised and upset. He takes Tommy over to one of the uncles and shows him how dumb Tommy is in choosing the ten over the twenty. Grandpa goes on and on showing every uncle and cousin and each time Tommy chooses the ten over the more...

Teacher: What are you doing, crawling into school ten minutes late? Pupil: Well you told me never to walk into school ten minutes late!

Tennis Elbow
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Don't have to spend that kind of money, " Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be more...