Ten Jokes / Recent Jokes

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the State Fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that airplane." And every year Martha would say, "I know, Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
This one year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance."
Martha replied, "Stumpy, that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."
Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a more...

What ten letter word starts with g-a-s? Automobile.

Bill Clinton, Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans.
Bill: "Why don't I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy."
Hillary: "Well, why don't you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the window and make ten people happy."
Al: "Why don't you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper happy."
Tipper: "Why don't we all jump out the window and make everybody throughout the United States and world happy."

One hundred dollars to any man who can make love to ONE OF OUR GIRLS TEN TIMES IN SUCCESSION read the sign on a wall in the hall of the brothel. A sailor who had just returned from ten months at sea decided to accept the challenge. Picking himself a particularly appetizing, pleasantly plump brunette as a partner, he started strong, but began to falter after the seventh performance. When the somewhat sated gob asked the girl what the count was, she said, "That's five times, sailor." Realizing that the girl was lying to keep him from winning the wager, he became furious and refused to continue until he was given an honest count.
At that point the house madam entered to investigate the shouts of outrage, and she managed to soothe the sailor by agreeing that he must be satisfied with the scoring.
"There's only one fair way to settle this, deary," she said. "We'll simply start the count over from the beginning."

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Stumpy Grinder and his wife Martha were from Portland, Maine.
Every year they went to the Portland Fair, and every year Stumpy
said, "Ya know Mahtha, I'd like ta get a ride in that theah aihplane."
And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that aihplane
ride costs ten dollahs.... And ten dollahs is ten dollahs."
So Stumpy says, "By Jeebers Mahtha, I'm 71 yeahs old. If I don't go
this time I may nevah go." Martha replies "Stumpy, that there aihplane
ride is ten dollahs... and ten dollahs is ten dollahs."
So the pilot overhears them and says, "Folks, I'll make you a deal,
I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride
and not say one word, I won't charge you, but just one word and it's ten
dollars."
They agree and up they go.... The pilot does all kinds of twists and
turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does it one more...

One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, "Mommy, I got five dollars!" The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from. The little girl replied,' 'Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree. The mother told her daughter, "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties."' 'OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl. The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?" The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed." The mother replied, "Didn't I tell you that he is...'' Before the mother could finish, the little girl said,' 'Wait Mommy. I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today.''